


The Peach Garden

by UngratefulSatisfaction



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Blatant mixing of myths and religions from different cultures, But it's happy arranged marriage, Consistent diegetically but not historically, Divinity, Historically based but in a parallel timeline, M/M, Royalty, Slow Burn, Three Kingdoms of Korea period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-01-23 00:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18538279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UngratefulSatisfaction/pseuds/UngratefulSatisfaction
Summary: The stranger stumbles from behind the peach tree and collapses at its base. He grasps his ribs, which doesn’t stop the red patches spreading through his tunic and staining the tree. Humanity remains a distant memory, but Renjun still has enough compassion and hope to take him in.~~Renjun has been in exile for too long, waiting for his wish to come true. It wasn’t part of the plan for someone to join him. It definitely wasn’t part of the plan for that someone to cause Renjun to reorient his entire existence.





	1. The Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I adhered rather strictly to the “original” language in this story. If the characters speak a different language than the one I’m writing in, I try to have the written language reflect the word choice etc. used in the spoken language. It can be awkward, so I toe the line of sounding natural in the written language while keeping original intent. However, in this story, because conversations refer to how they speak to each other explicitly, I adhere to how they would ideally speak Korean more than I normally do. Which can be awkward in English. (This whole thing is about how Jaemin never uses “you” with Renjun because they’re strangers, which isn’t a convention in English.)

Renjun’s existence so far is divided into his time before the garden and his time in the garden. The former time resides so far into the past it appears like a wavering reflection in a pool whenever Renjun tries to recall it. It became so easy to get lost in the garden from the moment he was surrounded by it.

Though, of course he could never actually get lost. The garden has a funny way about always corralling Renjun back to the lone house no matter which direction he wanders. Renjun grew tired of exploring after the first several hundred times he tried it.

He’s not angry with it. Just bored, even though the garden is kind enough to change scenery every few days, giving new fruit to harvest or tall trees with fresh combinations of branches to climb. Stone sculptures dot the land between the trees and the occasional fountain or pond will appear.

But the days drag on. Every inch of the house he stays in is slowly absorbed by his art. It hangs on every surface and paint fills in the cracks. After the first couple hundred pieces, he started layering them on top of each other. Old ideas of humanity have faded after the second layer, and by the third his house only held foliage. Renjun is considering what pieces must be covered with the one he’s currently working on, a painting of the peach tree that has not moved from beside his house since the beginning of his stay in the garden.

He can’t quite get the oranges and pinks right. He’s so busy mixing he almost doesn’t hear it. Being alone in the garden has made him so accustomed to silence it takes him a while to process the sounds of breathing.

The brush and palette land softly on the grass and Renjun whips his head around. “Who’s there?” He asks. The hidden stranger breathes with great difficulty and manages an indescribable groan. Renjun turns around slowly in a circle, trying to remain calm.

The stranger stumbles from behind the peach tree and collapses at its base. His eyes are closed, and he grimaces, though it doesn’t mar his beautiful features. Even while Renjun is fearful, there are inklings of excitement followed by a wave of pity. The stranger grasps his ribs, which doesn’t stop the red patches spreading through his tunic and staining the tree. Humanity remains a distant memory, but Renjun still has enough compassion and hope to take him in.

 

The stranger sleeps for two nights under Renjun’s care. It’s strange to count the passage of time again, to notice when the sun dims and brightens. The garden is aware of the stranger in pain and grows flowers that appear to Renjun with foreign names. There are flowers for the blood loss and flowers to stitch the skin back together. While Renjun makes medicine, the stranger is in Renjun’s bed, wearing clothes the garden gifted, wrapped in bandages made from leaves.

The stranger wakes in the middle of Renjun grinding a plant into a thick paste. There’s fear between them. Renjun does not move. Two days has yielded new plants, but it did not yield answers as to what this human is doing here. “Who…” The stranger trails off and Renjun has to focus to decode the foreign language.

“Who are you?” he asks still breathless.

“Injoon,” he tells him, furrowing his brow when the name comes out different than it normally does. Renjun grabs a glass of water from the bedside table. The stranger drink his fill and softly thanks him.

“Where am I?” he asks when Renjun puts the glass down.

“The garden,” Renjun replies. He’s met with a confused expression, but Renjun has no other name for this place.

“Where?” he repeats. He tries to sit up, but quickly falls. He groans in pain and Renjun hurries to find food to eat.

Renjun comes back with a bushel of cherries. He carefully digs the pits out and feeds him. The stranger seems reluctant for the help but doesn’t openly dissent. “What may I call my guest?” Around the fear and worrying, Renjun is excited to have company after the eternity he’s spent isolated.

“Jaemin.” A decidedly more foreign name than what Renjun was expecting, but it fits the strange language. “Are we far from Wiryeseong?” Hs eyes reveal desperation, but Renjun can only shake his head.

“I don’t know.”

“How far we are from Baekje?”

“Very far,” Renjun says. He doesn’t know the proper answer, but even if he did Jaemin couldn’t comprehend the truth. Renjun has never spoken directly to a human and his words are unsure. “You should rest more. I’ll wake you in a while with food.” He looks like he wants to protest, but his body is quick in agreement with Renjun, falling asleep.

Five hours pass, Renjun thinks. The passage of time has become vague for him and hours are an arbitrary measurement. Renjun gently wakes Jaemin after an amount of time he decides to call five hours.

He’s disoriented when Renjun hands him a bowl of soup. Renjun helps him sit up, propping pillows against the wall so he can lean back comfortably. He stares at the bowl, not eating it. Renjun sits beside the bed, waiting. “You should eat,” he says quietly.

“How long have I been here?”

“A few days?” Renjun guesses with a shrug.

“I have to go,” Jaemin insists. Renjun’s heart falls.

“But you’re injured,” Renjun says quickly. “When you’re better, you can leave. You should eat and rest, right now. Whatever it is can wait.”

Jaemin eats hesitantly. “Thank you, Injoon-ssi. But I need to go.”

“You will heal quickly here. It’s worth waiting a few more days at least.” He’s wringing his hands in his lap. Having Jaemin is the first time since being sent to the garden that he’s had something to do, a purpose to make the limping time more than anticipating.

“Okay,” Jaemin relents. Renjun breathes a sigh of relief. He doesn’t know if this is another gift from the garden or if it’s a gift from his brothers. Either way he is thankful.

 

Jaemin doesn’t say much. He is clearly tormented, but Renjun wants to hold their stilted peace as long as he can. He wants to continue making Jaemin food and changing his bandages. It keeps him busy.

Perhaps after a few days—Jaemin seems to be keeping track much better than Renjun—Jaemin steps out of the house for the first time. Renjun was searching for the right flower to help with healing when the house’s door closes. He turns and sees Jaemin squinting against the sky, bandages gone to bare the nasty scar carved into his side. Renjun is immediately up beside him, arms outstretched in case he falls.

“I’m fine,” Jaemin says politely. He gives Renjun a half-smile that catches Renjun’s breath even without its full glory. Renjun drops his arms and Jaemin looks around the landscape expanding into the distance. “This place is pretty. Where are we?”

“The garden.” Jaemin purses his lips, but changes course.

“Did Injoon-ssi draw on the walls? The art is pretty as well.” He’s so different than before. Jaemin is charming and graceful and it makes Renjun’s breath catch every time the sunlight hits his cheeks just right. “Did I interrupt?”

“N-no. I was… picking flowers,” Renjun says. He reaches out to touch the scar. Jaemin flinches but lets Renjun ghost his fingers over the raised skin. “ _Salsalikkot_ would be good.”

“Isn’t that a reincarnation flower?” Jaemin asks suspiciously.

“I wouldn’t know,” Renjun replies. Because he doesn’t. This language is strange to him and the words that don’t translate are even stranger. Renjun turns and follows the faint glowing path to a bush of yellow flowers. “But the garden recommends it.”

“Injoon-ssi talks as if the garden has a mind of its own.”

“I wouldn’t know,” he repeats The line between the garden’s will and his brothers’ will is indistinguishable; he doesn’t know to what extent it is self-sufficient. Renjun’s fingers are guided to the proper flowers and he plucks them off the bushes.

“Isn’t that worrisome? Not knowing so much?” Renjun shrugs.

“I’ve been here a long time, Jaemin-ah. I began painting after being here a long time, though that eternity was a fraction of my total time here.”

“Injoon-ssi doesn’t look older than twenty years.”

“Define ‘twenty years’.” He stands, flowers in hand, and goes back to the house. Jaemin follows relentlessly.

“Why is Injoon-ssi so enigmatic?”

“You are the one who came here unannounced,” Renjun says. “And I still don’t have a reason as to why it’s so important for you to leave.”

“I’ve been here a week, and I don’t even know where here is!” His voice raises and Renjun frowns.

“I do not know where here is, either. It is the garden. Just that.” Renjun prepares the flowers with hot water, pestle grinding out his frustrations along with the plants. “Perhaps a better question is how you got here.”

“I can’t remember.” The whimper in his voice catches Renjun by surprise. His hand stills in its circular motion and he looks over his shoulder at Jaemin.

He’s staring at the floor, bottom lip tugged between his teeth. His eyes are watery, but he does not cry. Renjun sets the mortar and pestle down. He hesitantly grabs Jaemin’s hands. The contact warms his heart differently than the clinical motions of caring for Jaemin’s health. But it also sets deep despair in his heart. Soon, Jaemin will be leaving him and his greatest wish will be left unfilled as his brothers had said.

“Jaemin-ah,” Renjun says, softly hiding his own anguish. “What do you need to get back to? Maybe I can help.”

“There is… someone,” Jaemin says and his tone is quiet enough for Renjun to hear his own heart shatter. “There was an attack—that’s how I was injured. I was protecting someone. I stumbled away—there were a lot of trees, we were by the river… And then everything was too bright, and I passed out.”

“Someone important?” Renjun asks. Jaemin nods.

“I need to know if he made it out alive, or if…”

“Understood,” Renjun says so Jaemin doesn’t have to finish that painful thought. “I’m not sure what I can do, since I’ve never had any visitors. But I’ll see what the garden wants to do.”

“Does Injoon-ssi like being so dependent on the garden?”

“I don’t remember much before being here.”

“How old was Injoon-ssi then?”

“Define ‘old’,” Renjun says with a cheeky smile. Jaemin sighs, but he smiles as well. Renjun has to look away, to distract himself with the medicine again.

“We’re the same age, right?” Jaemin asks.

“Are we?”

“I’m twenty.”

“Then I’ll be twenty.”

“What does Injoon-ssi mean with ‘then’?”

“Good question. You’ve gotten your sense back.”

“Aish,” Jaemin sighs but he sounds less depressed than before.

“You should go lay down again. You’ve done a lot of work today. I’ll make mandu and bring it to you later.”

“When does my host eat?” Jaemin asks.

“When I want to,” Renjun answers.

“Will Injoon-ssi eat with me this time? It’s awkward when I’m the only one eating.”

“Of course,” Renjun says fighting the smile that threatens his lips. Jaemin said he needs to return to someone. He did not mention family, so this person must be a romantic interest. Renjun does not have a place in his heart.

 

The subtle changes to the garden went unnoticed to Renjun until two weeks after Jaemin arrived. Where the unnaturalness of its structures was once prominent, they’ve blended into the plant life as understated formations on the ground. Jaemin remarks such one day while they sit in front of the house, Renjun drawing and Jaemin watching him.

“When I first got here,” Jaemin says. “I wondered who built everything. It was like they were trying to conquer the world, but now it seems in harmony with nature.”

“You’re thinking too deep,” Renjun says. Though he does agree with Jaemin. The garden no longer resembles the ones he always saw at home. The impressive stone structures have faded away and the pools cut into the ground became natural ponds bordered by grass.

“Injoon-ssi said there haven’t been visitors here before. Is it ever lonely?”

“No, never lonely. A little boring. But this garden is merely my state of waiting.”

“Waiting for what?”

“You ask many questions,” Renjun says.

“Because I’m curious. I want to know why the scenery always changes and Injoon-ssi calls the flowers by mythical names.”

“I only call them what the garden calls them. The words are foreign. These words are foreign.”

“Yet Injoon-ssi speaks my mother tongue perfectly and has a native name,” Jaemin says. Renjun does not look from his drawing, but he feels Jaemin leaning closer, perched on his knees from his excitement.

“How do you know it is my actual name?”

“Because… it’s what I was told. Injoon-ssi didn’t lie, right?”

“It’s not a lie. But it’s not my true name,” Renjun says.

“Then what—Injoon-ssi is making me talk in circles,” Jaemin says. He sits back down and cradles his head in his hands.

“Sorry, Jaemin-ah,” Renjun says sincerely. He stares at the light reflecting off of his long, impossibly black hair and his fair skin. His hands flip the paper on their own accord, and he draws man for the first time since the beginning days of his isolation.

His hands are rusty, and Jaemin moves before Renjun can capture the perfect image. But he fills in the gaps easily, drawing from crystal clear memories. When did he memorize Jaemin’s face like this?

“That’s pretty good,” Jaemin comments. His hands freeze, and the air leaves his lungs.

“I’m sorry,” Renjun says covering the picture with his arms.

“Don’t be,” Jaemin says. He’s regarding Renjun pensively, and he can’t quite breathe. But the spell is broken when he looks away. Tension fades away and Renjun tries to go back to drawing, though his hands forgot what lines they wanted to draw. “When will I return home?”

“When you’re ready,” Renjun says.

“I feel ready.” He stares at the sky, sunlight catching on his cheeks.

“The garden disagrees.” Jaemin sighs.

“Injoon-ssi,” Jaemin says. “What was the time before the garden like?” Renjun considers it, trying to recall.

“I was surrounded by love,” Renjun says. He doesn’t know how much he can tell Jaemin about this, so he picks his words carefully.

“How did Injoon-ssi end up here?”

“I wanted something,” Renjun says. “Something apparently hopeless. We made an agreement and I came here to wait.”

“We?”

“My brothers and I,” Renjun answers.

“Injoon-ssi has family?” Renjun nods. “And they sent Injoon-ssi away?”

“It’s more complicated than that.” Jaemin is astute enough to not press the issue. They sit in silence for a moment and Renjun tries to let go of the tension. He takes a deep breath and goes back to drawing, trying to find the right shapes to capture the look in Jaemin’s eyes.

 

Another few days pass with no sign from the garden. The only change at all in the garden from the prior week is a small lake within easy walking distance of the house. Yesterday, Jaemin had convinced Renjun it’s a good idea for him to teach Renjun how to swim, and the garden must agree.

Renjun disagrees, but he doesn’t deny Jaemin. “I can’t believe Injoon-ssi is afraid of water,” Jaemin teases.

“I’m not,” Renjun says.

“But Injoon-ssi doesn’t know how to swim.”

“By choice,” Renjun says, though his anxiety has significantly raised during their journey.

“More like complacency. It’ll be okay,” Jaemin says. “Injoon-ssi can trust me.” He throws an arm around Renjun’s shoulder and it startles  
him. But it’s easy to settle against him, hips bumping together as they walk.

They reach the pond. Renjun shifts his weight, staring at the clear water like it might hold evil. Jaemin wastes no time stripping to his underwear and Renjun makes a point not to watch. He steps into the pond until the water is at his ribs.

“I can hardly see the scar,” Renjun comments, trying to keep the subject off swimming.

“Really?” Jaemin looks down and runs his fingers up his side, water rippling from the motion when his fingers break the surface. The skin is discolored, but it’s no longer garish. “I suppose I should be thanking my host for treating it so well.”

“Was I supposed to let you bleed out on my tree?” Renjun asks crossing his arms over his chest. Jaemin only smiles at his snarky tone, not put-off in the least by it.

“It would have been easier on Injoon-ssi,” Jaemin says. “And what’s the deal with the tree? That and the house are the only things that don’t change.” Renjun shrugs.

“It’s been there since the beginning.”

“Why?”

“You’re too curious for your own good,” Renjun teases.

“Injoon-ssi,” Jaemin says with a pout. Renjun sighs.

“I don’t really know why it’s always there.”

“Has Injoon-ssi tried to cut it down? Or eat the peaches?”

“Never,” Renjun says shaking his head. “If I want peaches, the garden provides them another way. That tree is different. It’s where you first appeared.”

“At least Injoon-ssi knows about our first meeting,” Jaemin says with a charming smile. Renjun rolls his eyes. “Injoon-ssi should join me, so I can teach him how to swim.”

“Aish, fine.” Renjun turns away from Jaemin and quickly removes his outer clothes. He’s self-conscious under Jaemin’s gaze so he doesn’t hesitate to walk into the water, taking solace in the fact that it will at least provide some cover.

“There we go,” Jaemin says beckoning Renjun until he’s in front of him. Renjun avoids his eyes and wraps his arms around his body. “Is Injoon-ssi cold?”

“Yes,” he lies. But Jaemin grabs his hand and tugs him in to the deeper parts of the water. Renjun yelps and clutches Jaemin’s arm, the floor disappearing beneath his feet.

“It’s okay,” Jaemin says as Renjun panics.

“I want to go back,” Renjun pleads, not caring how desperate he sounds.

“Calm down, I’m not going to let Injoon-ssi drown,” Jaemin says. He grabs Renjun’s other hand while he treads water. “Stop kicking so frantically.”

Renjun tries to listen, but he’s only focused on the nearby shore. Jaemin is relentless, though, giving advice and trying to calm him. Eventually it works, and Renjun is somewhat successful. The moment he can manage, though, he swims to shore.

“No fun,” Jaemin says with a pout.

“You said teach, not trial by fire,” Renjun complains. He futilely wipes the water off his skin, trying to get rid of the trauma along with the droplets.

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin says. Renjun looks over his shoulder and sees remorse on his face.

“It’s not a big deal. I’ll just never trust you again.” Jaemin laughs at him and Renjun forgets the earlier tension.

He walks around the shoreline and Jaemin follows him in the water. Renjun finds a place that’s deep enough and sits on the edge, hanging his feet in the water. Jaemin comes to his side and holds onto the edge nearby. “Aren’t you tired?” Renjun asks exasperated. Jaemin looks up with angelic features highlighted by a perfect smile.

“It’s good therapy after not doing much the past couple weeks.” He folds his arms on the ground and rests his head on them, not taking his eyes off Renjun. Renjun has to look away, instead focusing on the water rippling slightly from Jaemin’s legs kicking underneath the surface. “I’ve been here… what, a week now?”

“Two, I think,” Renjun says.

“Regardless,” Jaemin continues. “Thank you for taking care of me so well.”

“Of course,” Renjun says. “I couldn’t let you die.”

“Because then Injoon-ssi would be without my great company.” Jaemin’s smile falls when Renjun doesn’t laugh at his cheesiness.

“Not for much longer,” Renjun says. Silence wraps around them. Jaemin sets a hand on his knee.

“I’m sorry, Injoon-ssi. But this place isn’t for me. I have—”

“It’s fine,” Renjun brushes off. “You weren’t a part of the original agreement.”

“Can Injoon-ssi talk to the older brothers?” Jaemin asks carefully. “Maybe they would have answers.”

“Yeah. Technically. I haven’t talked to them in a while,” Renjun admits. “But we should head back,” Renjun says before Jaemin can speak again. “Your fingers are becoming prunes.”

“Okay. Help me out?” He holds a hand out to Renjun with an innocent smile. Renjun regards it suspiciously but then, like a fool, grabs it.

A million curses escape his lips as Jaemin pulls him into the water. He only stops when his head goes underwater for a brief moment,  
isolated from the sounds and air. Jaemin pulls him above the surface quickly. He’s laughing when Renjun slaps him across the face.

“I can’t believe you!” Renjun hisses out. But all the venom quickly leaves when the panic settles in. He grips Jaemin’s shoulders so hard his fingernails leave indents.

Jaemin is still laughing, one arm around Renjun’s waist to keep him afloat and the other rubbing his cheek. “That kind of hurt.”

“You deserve much worse,” Renjun says. Though, most of his fear is gone. Instead it’s replaced by the weird sensation of having to be dependent on another for once.

“I just want Injoon-ssi to not hate water so much.”

“Get me out or I will drown you.”

“If Injoon-ssi drowns me, then he’ll be alone in water that’s too deep for him.”

“I’m not that short.”

“Shorter than me.”

“I healed your wounds, but I have no problem undoing my hard work.”

“I doubt Injoon-ssi has the constitution to stab me.”

“Watch me.”

“The garden hasn’t yielded a knife yet, so I assume Injoon-ssi doesn’t have serious intentions to stab me.”

“Shut up.”

“Since Injoon-ssi asked so nicely,” Jaemin says. He glides over to the shore and helps Renjun out of the water. The moment he’s on the ground he’s walking away from Jaemin.

“You’re sleeping outside tonight.”

“Injoon-ssi,” Jaemin whines. He pulls himself out of the water and it falls off his body in sheets.

“Shut up and get dressed,” Renjun says. He grabs his clothes off the floor and throws them at him. But there’s a smile on his face, so Jaemin relaxes.

They walk back to the house. The thought of talking to his brothers consumes Renjun’s mind. Maybe they have guidance and can explain why Jaemin is here. The garden obviously does not want him to leave yet and it’s no longer because of his health. Renjun doesn’t believe Jaemin being here is part of the original agreement, because the garden was supposed to be a place to wait, not exact the agreement.

Renjun hates that Jaemin is caught in the middle of it. Except he’s too selfish to fix it, to ask his brothers to send Jaemin home. Renjun wants to hold onto his beautiful smile as long as he can. It’s been so long since he has felt these feelings so specifically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk I wrote and edited “Taking Care” in two weeks and this garbage has been in the works for six months idk how that happens


	2. Peach Blossoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NoRenMin deserve more long-fics

Renjun is content to spend the night drawing in the dim light of his room and sneaking glances at Jaemin sleeping peacefully. It’s weird, and Jaemin might not be happy to know Renjun watches over him at night, but it’s routine now. He wonders if the garden has always had regular nights or if it’s because of Jaemin needing to sleep. 

It’s peaceful at least. Quiet and still. Jaemin isn’t nearly as annoying when he’s asleep. He looks like a prince. Renjun curses his appearance, because he’s running out of space to hide his drawings of Jaemin. The first one is hanging on the wall, but having more on display would be creepy. 

When Jaemin leaves him, the drawings will be left behind as reminders. Renjun might forget Jaemin if too much time passes after he leaves. Renjun hopes it won’t be like that. Keeping the drawings are a failsafe. 

Suspicious noises float through the air and Renjun glances around. Nothing out of the ordinary at first look. But Renjun checks Jaemin and sees him gasp, eyes scrunched close. His hands twist into the sheets and his body tenses. 

Renjun is immediately by his side, graphite and drawing forgotten on the floor. He sits on the bed tentatively, watching cold sweat cover Jaemin’s forehead. Jaemin writhes on the bed like he’s in pain. It hurts Renjun’s heart, and he sets himself beside Jaemin to try and comfort him, to softly wake him.

“Jaemin-ah,” Renjun calls. He grabs Jaemin’s hands to keep them from swinging. Jaemin grips them hard and Renjun winces. But he stays there and soothes Jaemin. 

He mutters a name in his sleep that Renjun can’t quite make out and it sounds like he’s about to cry. “Shh, it’s okay,” Renjun mutters holding Jaemin close. The tension slowly slips away and Jaemin’s breathing evens out. Jaemin tucks his head underneath Renjun’s and his bones finally settle.

“It’s okay,” Renjun repeats. He pets Jaemin’s hair and back, filled with worry. There’re probably plenty of reasons for Jaemin to have nightmares, but Renjun feels uneasy, like he is wrong in comforting Jaemin for this particular nightmare. 

He’ll have to ask him in the morning. There isn’t a possibility of Renjun being able to get up until Jaemin wakes, his arms too tight around his waist.

 

He never quite fell asleep, but Renjun drifted in and out of focus, only properly waking when the light filtered through the windows and Jaemin finally awoke. Renjun had half a mind to get up the moment Jaemin’s grip loosened, but he decides to confront it head on.

“Wha…?” Jaemin blinks several times and tries to get his bearings.

“You were having a nightmare,” Renjun says nonchalantly. “You were making a lot of noise. When I tried to wake you up, you grabbed on and wouldn’t let me go.” It’s close enough to the truth and Jaemin doesn’t question it. He flushes and looks away from Renjun.

“Sorry.” He sits up and moves away from Renjun on the small bed.

“It’s fine,” Renjun says. “It can be more comfortable to sleep when company is nearby.” He stands and tries to act as casual as possible.

Jaemin is silent while Renjun shuffles around the house, putting last night’s art away and working on breakfast. Renjun doesn’t know he got up until he joins him in the kitchen and says, “Thank you.” 

“It’s nothing,” Renjun says. He grabs ingredients off the table—provided by the garden—and starts preparing. But Jaemin places his hands on Renjun’s, stopping him.

“Let me make breakfast. I’ve been such an awful guest not helping out.”

“You don’t need to.”

“I want to.” Renjun concedes and lets Jaemin make breakfast. “What does Injoon-ssi like to eat?”

“Whatever,” Renjun says. “You don’t need to make me anything.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll make eggs and rice, since that’s what we have.”

Jaemin carefully prepares everything. The second he searches for anything, it appears nearby. Within little time, the food is ready and Jaemin serves both of them.

“Do you normally have nightmares?” Renjun asks picking around the food. Jaemin shrugs.

“Not usually. But it might happen again.”

“I see.” Renjun doesn’t push it any further or comment on Jaemin’s implications. “You must like this dish for the garden to provide it.”

“I prefer sweets.”

“Then perhaps it knows better and is giving healthy food.”

“Honestly, I’d kill for _hotteok_ right now.”

“Maybe we can make it later,” Renjun says. He’s never heard of it, but cooking has always been easy for his family, since it’s technically under their domain. 

“Yes, we’ll be healthy for now,” Jaemin says mockingly. They laugh together, and this is sweet enough for him. No dessert could replace being with Jaemin.

 

The next night, neither of them says anything when they get under the blankets together. Renjun doesn’t tease Jaemin when he tucks himself against him. It becomes routine after the first few nights, but it still makes Renjun’s heart race every time he is able to hold him close. During the day, they continue to pretend that it doesn’t happen.

“Tell me about what’s at home,” Renjun says from the ground. He catches a glimpse of Jaemin’s face in between the branches of the tree he’s climbing. 

“What does Injoon-ssi want to know?” The bark groans, the tree’s limbs bending under unfamiliar weight, and a few leaves fall to the ground. Renjun squints against the sun rays to try and find Jaemin.

“Who is your ‘someone’?” Renjun asks. He can’t see Jaemin, but everything goes quiet.

“He’s someone,” Jaemin replies. The leaves rustle again.

“You’re not allowed to be the vague one here.” A few more leaves fall to the ground and Jaemin descends to a lower level.

“Does Injoon-ssi ever miss his family?” Renjun shrugs.

“Sometimes. I guess. We have plenty of time to meet again.”

“Is there a time limit on the exile?”

“I wasn’t exiled, brat. I left voluntarily.”

“Why?” 

“Because it was in everyone’s best interest. And I sincerely believed that I was right about the disagreement.” 

“ _Was_?”

“Am,” Renjun corrects. 

“What was the disagreement about?” 

Renjun almost says nothing, but a word tumbles out of his mouth uninvited. “Love.” Jaemin looks over his shoulder at him, eyebrows raised.

“Love?” Renjun crosses his arms.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

“Explain.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Renjun says. Jaemin sighs. He carefully climbs down the last few branches. Even in his caution, he slips on the last one and slides down the trunk. Renjun’s heart skips a beat until Jaemin laughs.

“Are you okay?” Renjun asks. He forces himself to stay seated, so he doesn’t look too desperate.

“I’m fine,” Jaemin says. “Just scraped my hands.” Renjun’s shoulders relax. He walks over to Jaemin. Renjun grabs his wrist and inspects the shallow wounds.

“If you keep getting injured, the garden will never let you go,” Renjun jokes. But Jaemin doesn’t laugh.

“I don’t think it’s planning on letting me go regardless.”

“What do you mean?” Renjun asks suspiciously. He retracts his hands and crosses his arms.

“Something beyond my control wants me here.” And the way Jaemin looks at Renjun, eyes like cold daggers, pierces Renjun’s heart.

“What?” Renjun’s lungs are in a vice. Jaemin drops his gaze to the ground.

“Forget I said anything.” Renjun doesn’t know how to address the problem. He sits beside Jaemin on the ground, more helpless than ever before.

“Injoon-ssi,” Jaemin calls after a while. 

“Yes?”

“Why does Injoon-ssi talk down to me?”

“Is it a problem?” Renjun asks back. He tries to keep his tone light, staying away from the earlier seriousness.

“Well…”

“Is speaking formally a big deal in your language?”

“We’re strangers,” Jaemin says. 

“Oh,” Renjun says not able to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Jaemin sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like that,” Jaemin says. “But we haven’t known each other for years, we’re not family, and we aren’t the same age. It’s weird to speak informally.”

“I told Jaemin-ssi I’m twenty.”

“I know what lying is, Injoon-ssi.”

“What does it matter?”

“Normally, I would understand divinities talking down to mortals, but I don’t know where Injoon-ssi stands.” Renjun’s gaze snaps to Jaemin, but Jaemin doesn’t meet his eyes.

“That’s not what this is,” Renjun says futilely.

“Then what is this? Is it not a disgraced god and a pitiful mortal being held captive?”

“I’m not holding Jaemin-ssi captive,” Renjun insists. His fingers dig into the grass beside him, wanting to rip away at something. “I didn’t ask for visitors! It was never a part of the plan.”

“And what is this plan? What is the point of Injoon-ssi being here? Why am I here?” Renjun hasn’t seen Jaemin without a smile since he first left the house, but now he’s scowling and close to yelling.

“I don’t know,” Renjun says unable to match his tone. His eyes are full of tears and Jaemin’s gaze softens. 

“Injoon-ssi…”

“Speak informally if you want,” Renjun says. “It doesn’t matter.” He looks away from Jaemin and roughly wipes his hand under his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaemin says. He grabs Renjun’s hands, forcing them away from shielding his face. Renjun is reminded of when they went swimming, when everything felt so easy and domestic. He was mad at Jaemin for teasing him. They weren’t like this.

“It’s not that I want to leave Injoon-ssi, but—”

“Speak casually,” Renjun says, voice thick. Jaemin bites his lip but nods.

“I don’t want to leave you, but there are others that I can’t leave behind. I’m sorry I came here. I’m sorry for everything that happened.”

“It’s not your fault,” Renjun says. He stands, pulling his hands from Jaemin’s grip. He takes a deep breath to steady himself. “Can you give me time to pray? I’ll try to get an answer for your questions, and perhaps a way home.”

“Yes,” Jaemin says immediately. He stands and hugs Renjun. “Thank you, Injoon-ah,” he whispers against his neck. Renjun wraps his arms around him and tries not to cry again. He holds on as long as he can before Jaemin pulls away. Jaemin bows and goes into the house.

Renjun clears his mind and counts his heartbeats, trying to prepare himself to talk to his brothers after so long and to willingly give up Jaemin. He never intended to hold him hostage, but the actual prospect of him leaving has his heart breaking. But Renjun cares enough to not want Jaemin to suffer beside him. Renjun goes to the peach tree and kneels in front of it.

_Gege,_ he starts because he doesn’t particularly care which one answers. _Forgive me for not talking to you recently, but I need help. I need guidance._

He’s surprised the answer comes without any pause. It’s a comforting voice that he didn’t realize how much he missed. _We’re all sorry, Renjun. Have him come to the tree tomorrow when the sun is setting. For the magic to work, you can’t watch him leave._

“Thank you,” Renjun says aloud. He gets up, legs shaking. He doesn’t quite know what they’re sorry about, but he has to tell Jaemin their words.

“Tomorrow night,” Renjun says the moment he’s through the door. Jaemin was watching the door intently and his expression floods with relief.

“What do I have to do?” Jaemin asks, excited.

“Go to the peach tree tomorrow when the sun is setting. They’ll return you home.” Renjun has to take a step back when Jaemin launches himself into his arms.

“Thank you so much, thank you so much,” Jaemin says. Renjun can hardly breathe in the tight grip, but he counts his blessings. 

Eventually Jaemin lets him go and slides his hands down to grasp Renjun’s. A bittersweet smile replaces the joyous one. “I’ll miss you,” Jaemin says and the sincerity almost brings tears to Renjun’s eyes.

“Don’t say that,” Renjun says. He has to pull away and look anywhere but at Jaemin. 

“Injoon,” Jaemin says trying to get Renjun to meet his eyes again. Tears fall and Renjun doesn’t hide it.

“I’m fine,” Renjun insists. “I guess—maybe I was lonely before you came. I’ll miss having someone to dote on.”

“Could I maybe… visit?” Jaemin asks. He looks so eager, but Renjun can only shake his head.

“The garden isn’t in the mortal world. Humans can’t return once they’ve left.”

“So when I leave…”

“I’ll never see you again.” Jaemin’s smile falls.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could stay.”

“No you don’t,” Renjun says. He stopped crying and has already grown numb at the prospect of losing him. His brothers would call him foolish, as they did before he was sent to the garden. “You have people to get back to. You have your ‘someone’.”

Jaemin doesn’t reply. He just holds Renjun tightly. Tears trail down Renjun’s neck, but he has no more for himself. “Jaemin-ah,” Renjun says exasperatedly. Jaemin pulls away like he was shocked.

“Sorry.” Jaemin turns away, hiding his face. Renjun runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

“Let’s go to bed. It’s probably late, anyway.”

“Only if you’ll actually sleep tonight,” Jaemin says. He turns around smiling, trying to hide whatever negative emotions he carries.

“I’ll try,” Renjun says. 

It’s enough to get Jaemin to go to bed. Renjun follows their routine, familiarity bringing comfort. Except Jaemin holds himself separate from Renjun, as far away as he can manage on the small bed. Renjun tells himself it doesn’t hurt, that it’ll make tomorrow night easier when he is left alone. 

 

Renjun pushes away guilt when he leaves Jaemin. Once his guest falls asleep properly, Renjun gets up. He works a little magic on Jaemin—the first and only time—to ensure he won’t wake from his movements. Renjun exits the house and wanders into the garden, letting it pull him into the darkest recesses.

It must read his psyche well, because it yields a perfect place for him to sit alone and wait. Staying with Jaemin now will only make it worse when he’s gone. Renjun needs time to sort himself out and get ready for the approaching eternity without him. Jaemin is mortal, of course Renjun knows he will pass long before he does himself. But for a moment Renjun could pretend otherwise.

_Gege, why did you send him?_ Renjun asks. No response, but he feels that at least one of them is watching, is listening to him. He sighs and drags his hand through his hair. 

Hours pass and Renjun watches the sun rise between the thicket of pomegranate trees. He waits for Jaemin to come find him. It’ll be a good test, to see if Jaemin loves him or if his words are just sweet. Given one last day together, Jaemin should seek him out. 

Except the time drags on and Jaemin does not come. He has never slept in, save for the days when he was healing, and Renjun grows bitter. Just past noon, he heads back. Even if he is angry, he cares too deeply to ignore Jaemin for the last day.

Jaemin is sitting outside the house, tired eyes fixed on the ground. He lights up when he sees Renjun come into the clearing. “There you are!” Jaemin says stumbling to his feet.

“Like you care,” Renjun says harshly. Jaemin frowns and hesitates stepping forward.

“I looked for you, but I couldn’t find you,” Jaemin says. “I thought you didn’t want to be found.” His words shock Renjun and he forgets his anger for a moment. It is true that the garden knows what he wants better than he does, but he refuses to believe that in this case. He must have been imagining that Jaemin might care for him, he doesn’t want to pretend otherwise.

“Have you eaten?” Renjun asks to change the subject. 

“Earlier,” Jaemin answers.

“Let me make you lunch.” 

Jaemin doesn’t argue. Renjun goes in to cook and comes out again later with a small meal for him. He sits beside Jaemin and watches him eat.

“Can I ask you questions before I go?”

“Getting my permission hasn’t stopped you before.” He gives Jaemin an indulgent smile and Jaemin responds with a pure one.

“Since you’re immortal,” Jaemin says. “How long have you been alive?”

“Time is different here,” Renjun says. “I’m not sure how long has passed since I’ve been in the garden, but I can tell you I have been alive longer than you can comprehend.”

“Sounds about right. And you said Injoon isn’t your real name?” Renjun shakes his head. “What do the people on Earth call you?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun says. “I answered prayers where I could, but gods are not as omniscient as humans believe.”

“What are you the god of?”

“Must I be constrained to a single duty?” Renjun asks back. Jaemin holds up his hands.

“I don’t know how these divine things work. We have faith, but that faith isn’t always accurate.”

“You’re at least smart,” Renjun jokes.

“I’m going to guess you’re the god of complacency,” Jaemin teases. Renjun shoves him away and Jaemin laughs.

“Shut up,” Renjun says between his own laughter. “And I’ll have you know, I’m the god of love.”

“You’re the god of love?” Jaemin asks astonished. “You’re Lay?”

“Okay, okay, not the god of love,” Renjun amends. “The one you call Lay, he’s one of my older brothers. I’m like, a minor god of love, not the god of love.” 

Jaemin stares off pensively, taking in the information. Renjun wrings his hands in his lap, wondering what Jaemin is thinking about. “Under Lay, there are eight minor gods, right?”

“Nine,” Renjun corrects.

“No, I’m certain it’s eight.”

“What did you say about humans having the divine world wrong?”

“Right. Sorry.”

“I guess you humans forgot about me,” Renjun muses. 

“But they patron the eight types of love,” Jaemin continues. “What’s the ninth form of love?”

“I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure it out.” Jaemin bites his lip and deliberates. He shakes his head after a moment.

“You overestimate me,” Jaemin says.

“It’s not important anyway. I can’t tell you my divine name, and I don’t know what the mortals called me,” Renjun says. 

“What should we call you?” Jaemin asks. “When I return, and people ask me what happened, what name should I use for the one who took care of me?”

“Injoon is fine,” Renjun says. “I have not looked on the mortal world in so long; I can’t respond to prayers from the garden.”

“Why are you exiled? Why would Lay and the others send you away?”

“They saw a problem I had and thought giving me time alone would remedy it. I agreed because they said they would give my wish a fair shot at fulfillment.”

“Your wish?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Renjun insists. He’s hoping Jaemin doesn’t notice the color on his cheeks.

“Tell me,” Jaemin whines. 

“Even after I’ve admitted being divine, you think you can get away with being insolent?” Renjun says jokingly.

“If you weren’t okay with how I treat you, you would have punished me long ago,” Jaemin challenges. “Injoonnie likes me too much for that.”

“Continue this behavior, and that might change.”

“So you admit it!” Renjun sighs.

“Whatever. Stay here, I made something else for you.” Jaemin looks surprised when Renjun stands and goes to the house. “It’s a surprise, so close your eyes.” Jaemin does as he’s told until the smell of cinnamon sugar removes his last shred of self-control.

“You made _hotteok_?” Jaemin asks in pure amazement. He beholds the plate stacked high like it is a gift from heaven.

“As a parting gift,” Renjun says. He can’t help but smile from the joy on Jaemin’s face.

“I’m surprised you can make these,” Jaemin says before taking a bite of one. “And how do they taste exactly like the ones I get at home?”

“Cooking is under our domain when it’s for someone else,” Renjun says.

Jaemin looks him square in the eye and says, “thank you.” Renjun’s breath catches despite Jaemin having already rejected him.

When the plate is finished, they both watch the sun approach the horizon behind the peach tree. The tree is presented as if it was the end of summer, the first appearance of fruit on the branches and the flower petals flying loose with every gentle pass of wind. “You know, I was taught that peaches represent prosperity and happiness,” Jaemin says. 

“They are the fruit of immortals,” Renjun says. “Peach trees have many different meanings. I suppose this one works as a gate for the garden.”

“Are you happy here, Injoon-ah?” Jaemin asks. Renjun considers it. He regards Jaemin carefully, watching the peach blossom petals fall on his hair, resembling a crown. Jaemin shakes the petals off and they fly around on the breeze once more.

“Yes,” Renjun answers because even if it’s only for right now in this moment, it is the truth. 

Jaemin is surprised by the answer but nods his head. He looks to the setting sun and stands. “It’s on the horizon now. I think it’s time.” He glances at Renjun one last time before stepping to the tree.

“Wait!” Renjun yells. He scrambles to his feet and grabs Jaemin’s hand. Jaemin turns around, surprised, and stares into Renjun’s wild eyes. “One last gift,” he says. He presses something no bigger than a marble into Jaemin’s hand. 

“When you leave the immortal world,” Renjun tells him quickly. “You’ll forget everything. You will only remember being away and a god helping you, but none of the details. If you eat this right before you go, though, you won’t forget anything. You have to make the choice.” Renjun steps away from Jaemin, hands shaking from his own forwardness. He can’t beg Jaemin to remember. It will be easier for him if he forgets being here. It’s likely that Jaemin will let himself forget, but Renjun hopes otherwise.

“Injoon—”

“Go. It’s time,” Renjun says. He turns around and goes to the house before Jaemin can call after him. His very core is aching, his bones sitting too heavy. Already, it feels like something is gone, like a rib was ripped out of him and laid aside.

When he passes through the doorway, the wind stops blowing. Renjun counts his heartbeat four times before the wind starts again. Darkness descends on the garden and Renjun doesn’t have to check to know that Jaemin is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, this story treats the divine in a similar way to how Homer/Virgil treat it. So it’s not all-entirely-holy or all-omniscient because writing that while being a mortal is hard af and we are not here for that. Plus it was the old epic tradition that mainly inspired this. Blame the classics for this. Also, Renjun is an unreliable narrator take his perceptions with a grain of salt.


	3. Grey Skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a couple of foreign terms used in this chapter (other than the honorifics&c. all kpop fans are used to), so here’s a brief guide if you want:  
>  _Pantao_ : The peach that grants immortality to the gods every 3,000 years in Taoist mythology.  
>  _Daegun_ : Title for “grand prince”. Used for a legitimate son of the king  
>  _Daegam_ : Style meaning “your highness”. Used for princes.  
>  _Jeonha_ : “your majesty” (it’s what the kids say when Doyoung/Jeno walk by in the Halloween special)  
>  _Aba-Mama_ : how royalty address their parents

Coldness envelopes Renjun when he wakes. He tries to wipe it off whatever is prickling his skin all over as he sits up. Everything is dark, canopies of leaves covering the grey sky. Renjun looks up and is greeted with water hitting him in the face.

Drizzling. Renjun has never physically been on Earth, and it does not rain where the divinities reside. His skin grows accustomed to it and Renjun stops trying to wipe it off. The coldness has him shivering as he stands. 

The forest floor is soft beneath his feet and he struggles to find his stride. He has no idea where he is, but his heart is urged east. He trudges through thickets until he comes to the edge of the forest. 

A human town, so different than the last time he looked upon earth. Smatterings of small buildings gradually get larger and grander, converging on a palace in the center. He wonders if they’ll be hospitable. He slowly approaches, aware of how his appearance differs. Renjun fidgets with his pants and tunic as he walks. He obsessively rubs over the dark spot that Yixing had given him on the back of his hand. 

_So we’ll always be able to find you._

Renjun had felt so sure about this, about coming here. After hardly a day of hell alone in the garden, there was no other option. Here now, he wishes his brothers might have talked reason into him and kept him from leaving them.

This must be a market. People bustle about, holding sheets of fabric above their heads to shield from the water. Their clothes are monochromatic, and the townspeople cast curious looks his way, eyeing the colorful foreign clothes. They’re walking too fast for Renjun to stop anyone, so he goes to a stall, huddling under the small awning.

“Excuse me, Auntie,” Renjun says trying out the humans’ formal speech. She looks up from the bins of fruit in front of her, offering a perfect customer-service smile to him. “I’m looking for a friend. I was told he lives here.”

“Who?” she asks. “Perhaps would this customer like to buy fresh fruit to gift to his friend?”

“No thank you, Auntie. And his name is Jaemin.” She looks shocked.

“Na Jaemin?” she asks incredulously.

“I don’t know his family name,” Renjun says. The shopkeeper laughs.

“If this customer asks about a Jaemin, most people will think of Na Jaemin, and it can’t be him.” 

“Oh, okay. Thank you, Auntie.”

“Good luck, dear,” she says still laughing. Renjun heads away and ponders the strange conversation.

He asks several more people, and they all have similar reactions. It’s beginning to feel hopeless and Renjun is tired. He wanders near the center of town, in search of a bench to sit on to try and regain some energy. In his existence, he’s never felt fatigued or in pain like this.

Renjun traces the dark mark on his hand. It appears to be a mere bruise, but it is the only thing connecting him to his previous life. He considers, in this moment where he’s shivering and soaked through his skin, if he made the right decision or if he’s as foolish as his brothers had said when he asked to leave.

He had hardly waited a few minutes after Jaemin left before he began fantasizing going after him. Then Renjun had prayed to Yixing asking him to release the agreement and let Renjun leave the garden. They left no mocking words at him backing out, and instead welcomed him home and wiped away his tears.

It took hours of Renjun talking in circles to convince all his brothers of his feelings. They are gods of love, of course they understood, but Renjun was surprised when they did not invalidate his wishes. When he had asked to go to the mortal world, they did not say anything past respectful caution.

“You know you will never be able to return, right?” Kun asked.

“Yeah,” Renjun said. “But I can’t be happy like this.”

“You haven’t changed at all,” Sicheng said. He reached to where Renjun was held between Yangyang and Chenle to brush his hair back.

“Renjun, since you are a minor god,” Yixing said gravely, “you will not be able to return here if you go fully to the mortal world. And not being able to return, means you won’t live forever.”

“I know,” Renjun said. “I know the next _pantao_ harvest is in near a thousand years and I will die then.” Chenle had held him closer when he said those words defiantly. Renjun almost changed his mind when he saw the tears his younger brother shed for him.

“If this had not been your nature since the beginning,” Yixing said, a bittersweet smile on his face. “Then I would deny your wish. But there’s no use in trying to change how you have always been.”

“Gege, you can’t let him go,” Yukhei pleaded, holding onto Yixing’s arm desperately. “There’s no reason to at this point.” He was crying too and Sicheng looked close to joining them. 

“Though it kills us all, I can’t have you suffer,” Yixing said. Renjun wrestled himself from Chenle and Yangyang to give Yixing a proper hug.

“Thank you, Gege.” He pulled away, a resolute expression on his face. “The mortal world… has it changed a lot since I last saw it?” Renjun asked. The others nodded.

“You can look at it now, if you want,” Sicheng said.

“But taking too much time won’t be good,” Yixing added.

“I’ll wait to see it up close.”

“—After six months.” Renjun blinks his tired eyes and refocuses on his surroundings. He allows himself to listen closer to the loud conversation between two ladies nearby. Anything to get his mind off his decision is good.

“I can’t believe it! The king and queen must have been so thrilled.”

“They’re holding a parade in a few days, I hear, on the ninth day after he came back.”

“Of course the ninth day.”

“They’re a prudent family.”

The ladies move on through the market. Something about the conversation stirs Renjun’s heart and the palace calls to him. _Yixing-ge, where should I go?_ Renjun asks. There is no proper answer, but the palace seems right.

He tries to follow the winding roads to the center of town, cold water piercing his skin like tiny daggers. He gets turned around a number of times and the sun has begun setting. Renjun has come to the end of his first day on Earth and he has nothing to show except for blisters on his feet and wet clothes.

_Yixing-ge_ , he prays. No answer again. Renjun huffs and tries for a different, perhaps less busy, brother.

_Kun-ge._ He’s probably worried sick about Renjun right now. If anyone will offer guidance, it will be Kun. 

_We’re working on it, don’t worry_ , Kun’s voice says. It’s different than how other gods would speak to Renjun when he was an immortal. The usual timbre of Kun’s voice sounds distorted, thin in Renjun’s head, like it barely vibrates.

Then Dejun’s voice joins in and tells Renjun, _follow the path_. It irritates him because he’s in the middle of a back alley, not even sure which way is north. There is no path to follow. Renjun is about to curse at least one of his brothers when he sees the dirt faintly glowing to his left.

Renjun doesn’t hesitate in following the path. He can hardly see it in the twilight, and other people don’t seem to notice it at all, but it’s enough for Renjun. Even as his legs threaten to give way and it is painful to swallow around his swollen tongue, Renjun continues on.

It appears to be the back side of the palace Renjun stumbles into. Guards pay no mind to him entering the garden, and Renjun thanks his brothers for hiding him from their gazes. The light has faded into the grass and Renjun looks around for guidance.

The garden distracts him from his search. It’s a spitting image of how the immortal garden appeared halfway through Jaemin’s stay. Everything is softly in harmony with nature, so different than how the gods construct their gardens. But it’s beautiful to Renjun, and perhaps it has him feeling more at home than even the ones he had in the sky. Jaemin probably saw this place before he was injured. He must live nearby. 

Renjun has renewed energy and canvases the garden. Staff come out to light lamps, but they do not see Renjun. He carefully checks each of their faces to learn if they are Jaemin or not. No luck and Renjun grows more desperate. _Where have you taken me, Gege?_

They provide no further guidance and Renjun is ready to stop, to fall over and give up for the time being. This strange land full of strange people, working in strange ways he did not observe before the garden, leave him hopeless. He came down to fulfill his first wish, but he can’t even imagine it when confronted with the vastness of life in front of him. 

He was worried this might happen, which is why Renjun asked to begin his mortal life beside Jaemin. Even if he chose to forget about the garden, Jaemin would be a familiar person for Renjun to hold on to until he found the right one to bring his existence to fulfillment. He doesn’t know what game his brothers are playing at by going back on their word.

“The mortal world is big,” Yixing had said. “So we will put you near Jaemin, as you want. Regardless of whether he remembers you, he will help you.”

“You sound so sure,” Renjun said.

“We watched him a long time before sending him to the garden,” Kun said. “He’s not the type to turn a stranger away.” Renjun had been reminded of his earlier anger from those words.

“And why did you do that?” Renjun asked. “What purpose did sending Jaemin have?” None of his brothers looked like they wanted to answer.

“We didn’t know it would cause all of this,” Yixing said instead. “You seemed lonely, and Jaemin seemed to be a human of good heart.”

“Did you think he was—” 

“Either way,” Guanheng had said, avoiding Renjun’s pressing question before he could even finish it. “We’re sorry.” Renjun had shaken his head, already having let go of the anger.

“I believe even if I didn’t meet him, we would still be in this situation, or another similar one,” Renjun admitted. “Getting what I want from humanity can’t happen while I’m immortal and removed from their lives.”

“You’re wrong,” Chenle said through his tears. He said it with such certainty, Renjun considered abandoning his quest.

“But I won’t know until I try.”

“Chenle,” Yixing had said. “We can’t dissuade him otherwise, and even if we were to succeed, he would be miserable.”

“But Renjun-ge has already been away from us for millennia!” 

“We will be able to see him,” Yixing says. “I’ll even give him a mark, so we can always find him, as if he was with us.”

“And Gege,” Renjun said. “Please make sure I appear as I did before to Jaemin, as I do right now.”

“Actually,” Yixing said. “Could you do me a favor?” Renjun furrowed his brow.

“What do you need?”

“I have to check something, so I would need you to be unfamiliar to him at first sight. In case he does remember you.”

“Why?”

“To check character.”

“For what?” Yixing shared looks with the others and Renjun doesn’t know what they were thinking about.

“It has to do with the reason we paid so much attention to him in the beginning. But we don’t want to concern you with it. There’s nothing bad going on.” Renjun didn’t like the answer, but there was only so much he could argue when they were giving him what he wanted. “Now, it would be good to send you before too much time has passed in their world. Their lives are so short, and time is not consistent between our worlds.”

Except now Renjun is here, alone in a palace garden, unsure of what to do next. Yixing promised he would be near Jaemin, but no one could even give directions. If Renjun had the energy, he would be pacing right now or searching more diligently, but his skin is numb and Renjun can only focus on the wet fabric rubbing against it.

He’s not sure if his vision darkening is because of the disappearing sun, or because of another reason. The world’s clarity fades as Renjun approaches where the edge of the garden reaches the palace. Guards are opening the doors and Renjun vaguely thinks in the back of his tired mind if he should go inside.

But Renjun loses the ability to stand, knees buckling under him. His body starved of energy falls to the floor and Renjun can’t keep his eyes open despite the dull pain in his side. He looks one last time at the doors, and sees a familiar figure appear from them. His brothers must have removed the fog hiding him because the guards seem to be yelling at him.

 

His senses slowly awaken. First, the scent of soup and flowers come to him. Then the soft cotton wrapped around him, blessedly dry and clean, and the deep pain in his body. A pair of voices registers next, and finally Renjun’s eyes open, taking in the sunlit room.

“Oh, he’s awake,” a familiar voice says. Renjun’s gaze is on him immediately and his heart skips a beat. Renjun doesn’t even see the other guy he’s talking to. Jaemin looks at him like a stranger. “May I ask for our guest’s name?”

_Fake name_ , Yixing instructs, voice coming in thin like Kun and Sicheng sounded last night.

_Something cute_ , Yangyang adds on. Renjun would roll his eyes if he wasn’t too busy catching every new detail of Jaemin’s appearance. “Hajoon.”

“I’m Na Jaemin,” he responds. He crosses over to Renjun like he’s a wounded animal. Renjun’s eyes follow his movements hungrily. He turns his head with great difficulty to see Jaemin pick up a bowl of broth that was beside the bed. “Is Hajoon-ssi hungry?”

“Yes,” Renjun answers gratefully. Jaemin sits beside him and offers the soup. The first spoonful is a gift he didn’t realize he wanted. Adjustment to mortal needs will perhaps take longer than he anticipated.

“We found Hajoon-ssi in the northern gardens,” Jaemin continues. His tone carries suspicion and Renjun shrinks away from his gaze. He can’t help noticing the clothes Jaemin wears, rich fabrics with more color than the common folk he saw in the town. “May I ask for what reason?”

“I was lost,” Renjun says. His brothers offer him lies to tell Jaemin, about how he carries a message from the neighboring kingdom for the sovereign. “But I have never been in this area. They assured me it would be fine. They said the king was kind to strangers.”

“Perhaps they meant our generous Jaemin _Daegun Daegam_ ,” the other person says. Renjun looks at him for the first time. His clothes are plainer, but a sword rests on his hip. But then Renjun processes his words. 

“ _Daegun Daegam_?” Renjun asks unable to hide the surprise in his voice. The foreign title and style halted briefly in his mind before he figured out their meaning.

“Yes?” Jaemin asks with a bemused smile.

“I wasn’t aware I was talking to a prince.”

“Well, this guest worried me when I first saw him, so I wanted to check up on him.”

“Thank you,” Renjun says and his cheeks flush. He can’t believe Jaemin had never said he was a prince. Though, Renjun understands when he wasn’t particularly forthcoming about his own identity.

“Excuse me, though, have we’ve met before?” Jaemin asks. His eyes narrow in concentration and Renjun is about to answer truthfully.

_Not yet_ , Yixing tells him. “We haven’t,” Renjun lies.

“Sorry.” Jaemin looks disappointed but continues on. “What message did Hajoon-ssi say he had for us?”

“I was told to only deliver to the king himself,” Renjun says. Jaemin presses his lips in a tight line.

“Is it of such importance?” Jaemin asks.

“He led me to believe so.” 

“Alright, I will ask if Hajoon-ssi can meet with him today,” Jaemin says. “Until then, Yuta Seongnim will stay with our guest.” Renjun can hardly say anything before Jaemin leaves. It’s unnerving to be a stranger to Jaemin, but there’s nothing to do for now. 

Yuta provides good company. He talks with Renjun about meaningless things while they wait for a verdict. And when a message returns that the king requested Renjun’s presence, Yuta takes him to be bathed and dressed. Then he leads the way to the king.

“They are at lunch, right now,” Yuta tells him. “The schedule was already pretty full for today, so he said Hajoon-ssi can deliver the message while he eats with his family.”

“His family?” Renjun asks. “If I’m being honest, I am unfamiliar with them.”

“Well, Hajoon-ssi met Jaemin _Daegun Daegam_ already. Other than that, he has three more sons and there are also a few brothers from another kingdom he is entertaining right now since there will soon be a marriage between their families.”

“Right,” Renjun responds. He can feel the approval from Yixing and the others. The situation must be good for their purposes.

When they walk in, Renjun immediately finds Jaemin, sitting on the edge of the table across from an older man that must be his father. Renjun resists the urge to greet him properly or show any sign of their familiarity. Instead, he bows to the king while Jaemin introduces them. 

“Sit here,” the king says gesturing to the place on the end of the table by him and Jaemin. “Food will be brought for you in a moment.”

“Thank you, _Jeonha_ ,” Renjun says. If he wasn’t so nervous right now, he might be laughing at the ridiculousness of speaking so formally to a human. Renjun obsessively wrings his hands together until the skin is numb.

“Now, what message did you bring us?” the king asks. Renjun lets his brothers feed him lies to tell them, not even sure what the phrases mean.

“Some of the larger states in our kingdom,” Renjun says before giving vague details about internal conflict. The king nods gravely while he eats. Renjun takes glances at the others around the table, trying to figure out who is related to Jaemin and who the visitors are. 

The one beside Jaemin looks about his age and is indescribably handsome. Renjun curses his own nature, his heart drawn to look at him repeatedly, to see the beautiful smiles he trades with Jaemin in hushed conversations. The other princes look handsome and beautiful as well, but Renjun finds himself watching either Jaemin or the one beside him most of the time while he speaks.

“And so I was sent to ask _Jeonha_ for aid.”

“What type of aid do you need?” the king asks. He sounds invested in it and Renjun’s brothers again show approval.

“Any type _Jeonha_ is willing to give.” The king nods.

“Tonight, we can talk further in detail and I will bring our ministers to see what we can give to you. But for now, let us enjoy our meal. I understand you had a long journey.”

Food is brought out for Renjun and he eats with the family. He tries to listen to the quiet conversations between the princes, but they seem wary of him. Renjun asks his brothers if he must do anything else in disguise.

_Ask about harvest_ , Yixing tells him. _Ask about divinities._ Renjun frowns.

_What do you want to hear him speak about? Specifically_ , Renjun asks.

_I want to test his faith and character._ The answer makes sense to Renjun and he wonders why it was so hard to tell him that earlier.

“ _Jeonha_ , I heard the kingdom’s harvest was well last year,” Renjun says nonchalantly.

“It went very well,” the king says. “The gods were gracious to us and heard our prayers.”

“I’m sure they favor _Jeonha's_ family well,” Renjun says. 

“We have been continuously blessed. Especially,” he pauses and smiles at Jaemin across the table, “recently, when they answered my latest prayers.”

“Aish, _Aba-Mama_ is being dramatic,” Jaemin says with his own embarrassed smile.

“What happened?” Renjun asks innocently.

“My sons were out in the forest with our visiting princes,” the king says. “About six months ago—I know because I cannot forget that night. But while they were in the forests north of the palace town, people wishing to bring terror to our family attacked them. 

“Luckily, they are all adept in swordplay and escaped with few injuries. Except for Jaemin _Daegun_. Taeyong _Daegun_ ,” he gestures to a prince further down the table, “told me that he received an awful wound and disappeared into the forest. I prayed and prayed—we all prayed that he would come back. Eventually, the gods heard our prayers and delivered him back to us in full health.”

“I owe them for healing me, as well,” Jaemin adds on. “I would have died, I think, if they didn’t take me away. Getting there, it’s kind of vague, but I remember being cared for by a god, though it only felt like a month.”

Renjun wishes Jaemin would go into further detail, to let Renjun know if he remembers properly. But Jaemin seems to be done speaking. “Which god?” Renjun asks before someone can change the subject. Jaemin opens his mouth but closes it right after.

“He said…” Jaemin seems unsure on whether to continue or not. He shakes his head and smiles sheepishly. “Unimportant. He is not like the others.”

“Our Jaemin _Daegun_ has been so vague,” a prince teases. Jaemin shrugs and avoids the other princes’ demands of details.

“What’s important is that he is safe,” the king says. “That our family and kingdom are safe. And because we enjoy such blessings, I believe it only proper to give aid where we can to our neighbors.”

Renjun bows his head. “And we thank _Jeonha_ ,” Renjun says.

_Is this enough?_ Renjun asks his brothers. He gets satisfied answers. _So can I reveal myself now?_

_Of course, but be a bit dramatic. Make it fun._ Renjun inwardly rolls his eyes at their antics but doesn’t disagree.

“Though, _Jeonha_ , I must apologize,” Renjun says. He gets sharp, confused looks and he knows he must finish before they kill him where he sits. “I am sorry for lying, but perhaps it is consolation to know that the gods are pleased with you.” He stands and holds up his hands, aware of the guards unsheathing their weapons and the backlash from speaking informally. 

He looks at Jaemin, who seems confused by his actions. Perhaps there is a spark of familiarity in his narrowed eyes, reminded of his time in the garden from Renjun’s speech or actions. Renjun hopes he remembers, but he won’t know until his disguise is gone. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know at all how one addresses a god in Korean (aside from Judeo-Christian God)? No. Not at all. I have zero idea.  
> Also, the other minor deities of love (ie, the rest of China Line) are based off of the eight types of love in Greek, which is why they use the terms “pragma” etc.


	4. Candlelight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hansik: traditional festival that is celebrated around the beginning of April  
>  _Seongnim_ : archaic form of “hyung” (though it is still used in some Korean dialects)  
>  _Nui_ : archaic form of "noona"
> 
> Idk why but this chapter is like 50% longer than the others. Also, I am addicted to how beautiful Jeno’s and Jaemin’s smiles look so sorry if I describe them too much they’re just so pretty.

The tension is palpable in the room and Renjun knows it is time, his brothers telling him that the false appearance is melting away. When he opens his eyes, he scans around the table and sees shocked reactions mixed with terror. But before he can get to the side on his right, a body slams against him so hard he must take a step back.

Once he gets over his own surprise, Renjun laughs. It feels good to have Jaemin’s arms around his neck again. Renjun holds him close by the waist, trying to make up for lost time. “ _I can’t believe you_ ,” Jaemin hisses against his neck.

“You remember,” Renjun says amazed. He was too pessimistic to hold it as more than wishful thinking before.

They pull apart, though Renjun’s arms stay around his waist. “Of course I remember. I can’t believe you lied to me,” Jaemin says, smiling all the way to his eyes. 

“What do you mean?” Renjun asks, unable to hold his own smile back.

“You said I’d never see you again,” Jaemin says much quieter. They become aware of their company again and they step away from each other.

“ _Aba-Mama_ ,” Jaemin says turning to his father. “This is—”

“A god,” he finishes with wide eyes. Renjun nods his head.

“The one who saved me,” Jaemin adds on, looking at Renjun. “This is Injoon, one of the gods of love.”

“My name is Renjun,” he corrects. Jaemin furrows his eyebrows. “My divine name,” Renjun says to Jaemin.

“How can…” Jaemin trails off.

“Apologies, My Lord,” one of the princes says, a slight tremble in his voice. “But Renjun-ssi is the god of what?”

“A god of love,” Renjun says. “I’m a minor deity, under Lay.”

“Which one?” Another prince asks.

“One you no longer pray to, and one it would do no use to start worshipping,” Renjun says. 

“Why are you always so vague?” Jaemin teases. Before Renjun can laugh or answer, the king speaks.

“ _Jaemin_ ,” he says harshly. Jaemin startles and looks at his father with wide eyes. “How could you speak informally to him?”

“It’s fine,” Renjun says. He puts a hand on Jaemin’s shoulder to comfort him. “I had told him he could before he left my domain. As much as I cared for him, he took care of me as well.” Jaemin’s family looks unsure, but none object. Renjun sits back down and pulls Jaemin with him. 

“Again, sorry for my lying earlier,” Renjun says. “All I told you were lies, what Lay asked me to say in order to test you. I believe he wanted to know your loyalty and kindness. You succeeded in both well.”

“We are eternally grateful,” the king says bowing deeply. “Lay has long since been a god we have consulted and prayed to. I am glad he thinks well of us.”

“Even more than that,” Renjun says. “For him to give such special attention to one family, he must really care for you.” When he searches for a more material answer, his brothers yield nothing. 

“Injoon-ah,” Jaemin says. Renjun turns to him and sees the excitement in his eyes. “Tell us how you got here.”

“I can’t reveal our tricks,” Renjun jokes. Jaemin pouts and Renjun cannot resist. “But fine, I’ll tell you.”

“It was shortly after you left, though I don’t know what that would be in time on this world,” Renjun starts. “I suppose I got tired of being alone? The exile was by choice, so it wasn’t a problem when I decided to leave the garden. It was more of a problem when I wanted to leave the immortal domain.”

“But don’t gods regularly visit our world?” Jaemin asks. 

“Yes, but not minor gods,” Renjun answers. He explains it further, though most of his attention is on watching Jaemin. He badly wants to ask after his health, to make sure his injuries are gone even after leaving the garden. Renjun tries to tell himself that everything is alright, that Jaemin wouldn’t be so at peace hanging off his every word if he wasn’t in good health. 

“So it was kind of a permanent decision,” Renjun says vaguely. It’s uncomfortable to properly admit that he gave up his immortality, at least in front of everyone here. He doesn’t mind telling Jaemin later when they can speak privately, though from Jaemin’s expression he seems to already sense the gravity of it.

“Did you leave because…?” Jaemin refrains from asking the full question but Renjun can guess the end of it. The way Jaemin’s eyes peer at the others makes it clear he doesn’t want to voice it in front of his family and Renjun doesn’t blame him. He can’t even explain their time together to anyone outside of it.

“No,” Renjun says trying to play it off like a joke. “Jaemin-ah, don’t be so pretentious.” Jaemin pouts and Renjun laughs. He can’t help himself from reaching over to stroke his thumb across his cheek. 

It’s a private gesture he probably should have kept between themselves, because as soon as he lowers his hand, Renjun notices the intense stare levelled at him. The boy on the other side of Jaemin has an unreadable expression on his face that makes Renjun’s blood turn cold. He doesn’t miss the boy purposefully grabbing Jaemin’s hand under the table. 

Jaemin isn’t bothered by the motion and continues to question Renjun. Except Renjun can only think about the other boy with the dark eyes, consuming his thoughts until he must address it. “You should introduce us properly,” Renjun tells Jaemin instead of answering his last question. “I’ve been going on and on, but I don’t even know your brothers’ names.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” Jaemin says apologizing to them all in turn. His family brush it off easily, still nervous from Renjun’s presence.

Jaemin goes around the table, introducing each brother. Taeil, Taeyong, and Jaehyun. The others are introduced as the foreign princes. Jaemin tells him the first two names, Doyoung and Jungwoo, easily, but hesitates at the last one, the boy sitting beside him holding his hand. “And this is my… this is Jeno.”

“It’s an honor,” Jeno says though his tone sounds icy. Renjun forgets how handsome he looked earlier and now only feels unsettled looking at him.

“So why did you come here, then?” Jaemin asks. He’s watching Renjun with undivided attention, the same as when they were alone, but a paranoid part of Renjun wonders if it truly is undivided.

“Because long before I went away, when humanity was starting out, I had a wish. I can’t tell you what right now, or it would defeat the purpose. The agreement my brothers and I made was to fulfill this wish, though they’ve told me it’s hopeless. After you left, I decided it would only happen if I walked like humans do.”

“Okay, I know you said you can’t tell me,” Jaemin says. “But what is it?” Renjun smiles ruefully.

“You’re smart enough; you should already know the answer to that.” Jaemin groans.

“Not this again. ‘God of love’, more like god of being annoyingly cryptic.”

“I thought you said I was the god of complacency,” Renjun teases. Jaemin is about to retort, but he becomes aware of the setting again. 

“ _Aba-mama_ ,” Jaemin calls. His father understands what he wants before Jaemin finds the right words for it.

“My Lord,” the king says addressing Renjun with his eyes lowered. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

“I think to find the answer I need to live among humans for a while. It’ll happen naturally, if at all.” 

“Would Renjun-ssi like to stay in the palace for a time?” the king asked. “As long as he would like.”

“That would be great,” Renjun replies. He wasn’t sure what else he would do if the king had not offered. “Thank you.”

“And to give proper thanks, My Lord—though of course I offer without supposition of what our divine deems acceptable—I would like to state that my sons have not chosen spouses,” the king says gesturing to his left.

Renjun almost misses the princes’ awkward expressions from how much he laughs. He looks for Jaemin’s reaction and finds him laughing as well. Jeno remains serious, though his brothers are also amused by the offering.

“Of course, Jaemin is not an option,” the king continues politely as if everyone is taking it seriously.

“Right,” Jaemin says, but the sweet smile he directs at Renjun confuses the statement.

“Hm?” Renjun hums. He doesn’t want to explicitly ask why not, or it could mean something he doesn’t want to say.

“They’re engaged,” Doyoung says gesturing between Jaemin and Jeno. Renjun stares at them in shock, but Jaemin suddenly cannot meet his eyes.

“Yeah, they get married next year, right?” Jaehyun asks.

“Yes,” Jaemin agrees quietly. Renjun remembers himself and wipes the shock from his face.

“So Jeno-ssi is your ‘someone’,” Renjun says carefully, holding Jaemin’s gaze. Jaemin forces a smile for him, but Jeno looks genuinely pleased.

“Our Injoon calls him politely but was informal with me from the beginning,” Jaemin teases. Renjun rolls his eyes.

“You came to my domain unannounced,” Renjun says trying to keep light-hearted.

“You talked about me?” Jeno asks Jaemin quietly, barely above a whisper. He smiles shyly at Jaemin, and while it is beautiful, it still brings darkness to Renjun.

“A little,” Jaemin responds sounding just as shy. The looks they give each other imply a more intimate connection than Renjun wants to acknowledge.

“My Lord, Renjun-ssi,” the king says providing good distraction. “May I ask a question?”

“Go on,” Renjun says aware that his tone is cold.

“While this arrangement was decided on long ago,” the king says. “And we did consult oracles and matchmakers before, I was curious if the gods approve. Asking an oracle is never a perfect guarantee, not like confirmation directly from a god. Was Jeno _Daegun_ a good choice for my son?”

Renjun does not have an immediate answer. It is within his powers to see if they actually love each other, if the feelings come from a pure place or if the affection is secondary of something more sinister. He did it all the time when people would pray to him, but this situation seems too personal. Renjun doesn’t want to know the answer about either of them. But it’s impossible for him to deny a direct prayer, especially when his brothers—who are finally showing themselves again—are pushing him to fulfill it.

“I have not looked into someone’s mind since coming to the mortal world,” Renjun says carefully. “But I believe I can do it the same way as I always have.” The king looks delighted but Jaemin and Jeno are nervous.

Renjun stands and passes over Jaemin. He cannot bring himself to read his emotions. So he goes to Jeno and kneels behind him. “May I?” Renjun asks. Jeno barely ascents, his breath quickening. Renjun sets one hand on his shoulder and reaches the other around so it’s pressed against his heart, wrapping Jeno in a lose embrace. It’s how he always viewed someone’s heart, but in this new physical form it almost makes Renjun blush. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

It comes easier than he thought. Renjun wasn’t sure what divine powers remain, but at least this is intact. Jeno’s heart is bared to him instantly, but Renjun only pokes around the relevant areas.

Jeno relaxes against him and a small memory comes forth. Jaemin and Jeno, both so young they hardly resemble themselves now, running around in the same garden Renjun wandered in yesterday. It’s pure, a proof of the history they had growing up knowing what their future would be. 

Another memory, a type of conversation between them and their fathers. They agreed on the arrangement to have them public engaged. Jeno’s thoughts from that moment are so clear that Renjun is left without a doubt how Jeno feels. He has emotions Renjun can easily identify as love and it scares him. The way Jaemin and Jeno looked at each other with a connection that can’t be explained has Renjun pulling away.

Renjun returns to his seat calmly. He sits, pretending his feelings are neutral. 

“Well?” the king asks.

“They make a good match,” Renjun says unable to force anything positive into his tone. He hopes no one asks him to check Jaemin. 

Whatever lies in his heart is not something Renjun wants to see explicitly right now. There are too many uncertainties he fears being explained.

And he is in good hope, because everyone appears satisfied with the answer. “Wonderful,” the king says. “Then everything will continue as planned.”

“You said you already checked with oracles,” Renjun says pretending his words carry no hidden meaning. “Did they say Lay approved?”

“Yes, My Lord,” the king replies. “We consulted him through the oracles and of course Kun as well.”

“Pragma?” Renjun asks. He can guess who they mean by how similar it sounds to Kun’s real name, but the pronunciation is garbled enough for him to question it.

“Yes, My Lord,” he says hesitantly. Renjun’s heart falls. He can hardly believe they approved.

“You call the gods differently than how we call each other, but it’s better that way,” Renjun explains because the words he wants to say are stuck in his throat. He’s so busy sulking that he doesn’t notice the guard approach the king to speak with him.

“Apologies,” the king says standing. “But I have a scheduled affair to attend to.” Servants begin clearing the table and the king leaves.

“What’s next?” Renjun asks Jaemin. “Are you busy as well?” Jaemin shakes his head.

“I’m not busy at all after this.”

“May I speak with you?” Renjun asks looking over the others. They’re not listening, managing their own conversations as they get up. Jeno is beside Jaemin, holding his hand and watching Renjun intently.

“Privately?” Jaemin asks with a light tone.

“Yes,” Renjun says also pretending there aren’t serious things for them to talk about. He looks to Jeno, and Jaemin follows his gaze. Jaemin leans closer to Jeno and speaks almost too softly for Renjun to hear.

“Can we talk for a moment?” Jaemin asks him. Jeno looks hesitant, but it resolves into such a trusting expression for Jaemin that Renjun’s heart hurts from it.

“Yeah. I’ll see you later?” Jeno asks. Jaemin nods his head earnestly. Jeno finally releases his hand and allows him to leave with Renjun.

“How about the gardens?” Jaemin asks while he leads Renjun through the halls.

“You know this domain better than I do,” Renjun says. He’s aware of the guards following them.

“Then let’s go this way.” Jaemin grabs his elbow and takes him around a couple more corners until they come to double-set doors. Servants pull them open and they walk out into the garden Renjun saw last night.

“How about there?” Jaemin asks gesturing to a stone bench a little way off. Renjun assents and they go over to it. The staff stays a respectable distance away while they talk, intimidated by Renjun’s glare more than anything else. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Everything?” Renjun shrugs. Jaemin’s gaze is intense enough to make Renjun look down at his hands. “I gave up my immortality,” he says softly.

“You what?”

“That’s why it wasn’t a big deal to tell you my divine name, because I’m not divine anymore,” Renjun says. 

“Why?” Jaemin asks. “Why did you give it up?” Renjun stares off at the trees in the garden with their autumnal colors, dead leaves falling to the ground.

“Same reason I said in there,” he says.

“Your wish?” Renjun nods. “You said your brothers don’t have a lot faith in it… but do you?”

“At this point, I’m not sure,” Renjun says. “I feel the rest of my eternities will be marked by the same pain.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?” Renjun shakes his head and smiles ruefully.

“You especially, given the nature of what I want, would actually make it worse.”

“What does that mean?” He doesn’t miss Jaemin reaching for his shoulder only to stop halfway and retract his hand.

“It’s nothing but a compliment,” Renjun says. Jaemin looks like he wants to respond, but he holds back. The silence drags on too long and Renjun can’t stay quiet. “He cares about you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jaemin says softly, and there’s pain in his voice that Renjun can’t place. “I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. Something. Everything.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Renjun says forcing a smile. “The only thing to be sorry about is not telling me you’re a prince.”

“It never came up in conversation,” Jaemin says with a pout. “You didn’t tell me you were a god.”

“Fair.”

“We’re both terrible people. There, are we even?” Jaemin smiles purely, eyes sparkling.

“Yeah. Even,” Renjun says barely above a whisper, entranced in his gaze.

“Good. Let’s head back inside then,” Jaemin says. He stands and Renjun follows.

Hardly halfway to the palace, Yuta meets them. “ _Daegam_ ,” Yuta greets with a bow. He turns to Renjun, fear in his eyes. “My Lord, my deepest apologies. I did not know.” He bows ninety degrees, but Renjun gestures him up immediately.

“You were not meant to know before,” Renjun says. “All is well.” Yuta looks immediately relieved. 

“How did you hear of this?” Jaemin asks. “Are people already talking?”

“I don’t know,” Yuta responds. “I had only asked where _Daegam_ was. They sent me out here and told me of _Daegam’s_ company.”

“And what was the message?”

“Sunkyu Nui said she needs _Daegam_ to discuss the details of the upcoming celebration, if _Daegam_ has time.”

“Celebration?” Renjun asks.

“Yeah,” Jaemin says rubbing at his neck with a bashful smile. “My parents insisted on having a parade to celebrate me coming home. And to show the citizens that I am safe.”

“Especially for the Lee house, as well,” Yuta adds. Renjun asks him to elaborate. “Well, after being gone for so long, the marriage was called off. They were supposed to be married just before Hansik, but _Daegam’s_ disappearance had postponed it. Relations with Jeno _Daegun Daegam’s_ house were tense. The parade will be a public message that Jaemin _Daegun Daegam_ is alive and healthy, and that the marriage is still on.”

“I see,” Renjun says. He turns to Jaemin, who is avoiding his gaze. “I guess I’ll leave you to it.” 

“Injoon-ah, where are you going to go?” Renjun shrugs.

“I don’t imagine anyone will dissent me wandering around the palace while you get your marriage settled.” Jaemin looks like he wants to say something else, but he backs down. Yuta leads him away and Renjun goes the other way.

He doesn’t know where he’s going. His feet take him near the dining room. The halls are near empty save for some servants pressing themselves against the walls to stay away from him. Renjun doesn’t have the patience to deal with it right now, so he chooses to ignore it. 

“Excuse me.”

Renjun turns around to see Jeno. “What does Jeno-ssi need?” Renjun asks forcing himself to sound cordial.

“I was wondering if I could ask some questions.” Jeno is staring at the floor and his voice sounds meek. Renjun admits he’s curious what he would want to ask.

“Go on.” 

“Jaeminnie hasn’t said anything about his time away… what exactly happened?”

“If he hasn’t told Jeno-ssi, I don’t see why I should.” Jeno doesn’t look happy with that answer.

“Look, My Lord, I just want to know if he…”

“We didn’t do anything, if that’s what you mean,” Renjun says, cheeks red. “I don’t know why Jaemin didn’t tell you anything, but it’s not because there’s something to hide.” He gathers his composure and looks at Jeno levelly. “Any other questions?”

“Why did it take six months for a god to heal a stab wound?”

“Time passes differently in our realm. He was with me for a month.”

“Does it take a month to—”

“No. It took a week at most. Why is Jeno-ssi even asking about this?” Jeno looks away from him. Renjun can’t read his expression, but it doesn’t look happy.

“I want to know why he was taken for so long,” Jeno says after a long time. He sounds powerless and it deflates Renjun.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t my choice.” He turns away from Jeno. “Anything else Jeno-ssi wants to ask me?” He is silent for a long time.

“No, My Lord. Thank you.” 

Renjun takes a deep breath and walks away.

 

The parade passed without any problems. Renjun opted out of it to avoid the big public display the king wanted to make of him. Jeno went with him though, something else that made it worthwhile for Renjun to stay in the palace. He didn’t have the energy for it anyway. He hasn’t managed to sleep properly since coming to the mortal world.

Most nights he wanders around, like he’s doing now. It serves to make the staff nervous. They’re stuck between being too scared to even approach him and trying too hard to please him. Renjun knows wanting to be treated normally is pretentious as hell, but the silence from his brothers and Jaemin constantly being busy these past few days has him craving normalcy. It wasn’t until his isolation ended that Renjun realized how much he desired to not be alone.

Maybe that’s why Renjun is going to force Jaemin to spend time with him tonight. The sun set several hours ago, and the palace is quiet, tired from yesterday’s celebration. No one questions him tonight until he’s right in front of Jaemin’s door.

“My Lord,” the guard stammers out. “What can I—”

“Is Jaemin in?”

“Y-yes. He’s asleep.”

“I’d like to visit him.”

“But—”

“He won’t care.” The guard hesitates, but he relents. 

The room is dark, candlelight from the hallway being the only reprieve. His eyes take a moment to adjust. Once he can see the vague outline of a body on the padding, Jaemin calls out to him.

“Who’s there?” He understandably sounds scared.

“It’s me, Jaemin-ah,” Renjun replies. A beat of silence and then Jaemin is shuffling around for a candle to light. 

“Is everything okay?” His voice is coated in sleep and Renjun feels guilty for waking him.

“I can’t sleep,” Renjun says quietly. Warm glow suddenly illuminates Jaemin’s figure.

“Are you alright?” Jaemin’s hair is sticking up every which way, contrasting the genuine concern in his voice.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m not used to this human body.” Renjun shrugs.

“Anything else?” Jaemin asks with a bemused smile. He sits up, legs covered by the blanket, and gestures Renjun forward.

“Maybe, _maybe_ , I missed talking to you,” Renjun admits trying to play it off like a joke. 

“ _Cht_ , of course you did.” Renjun sits next to him on the padding. “So what do you want to talk about?”

“Whatever. Anything. I hate how everyone else here treats me so fragilely.”

“Well, it’s because you’re a god. They don’t know you. Say the wrong thing and you’ll smite them, right?”

“Lay does not smite people. We leave the fighting to the others,” Renjun says. Jaemin doesn’t respond; he just sighs and draws Renjun to his side. “Jeno-ssi spoke with me earlier.”

“Hm? And what did you say to him?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Renjun sighs and leans back against Jaemin’s chest. He knows he requested this form to be his corporeal body, but it makes him feel so small compared to Jaemin’s broad frame. 

“Always so enigmatic. Fine, what did he say? Or ask?”

“He was worried. You should talk to him.”

“Why? What is he worried about?” 

“He said you didn’t tell him anything about when you were with me. It’s troubling him. I think he’s worried you’re hiding something.”

“But I’m not.”

“Then tell him that. Why haven’t you talked about it?”

“We haven’t had a lot of alone time together after I returned. Ever since we’ve been officially engaged, we can’t be alone,” Jaemin says. “And… I don’t know. I don’t know what to tell him.”

“Sit down and talk with him—even if you need chaperones. I’ll chaperone if that’s good enough,” Renjun offers. “I know the marriage is just political, but founding it on lies doesn’t sit right with me.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Jaemin says. Renjun looks up at Jaemin and sees him staring at the wall with a pout on his lips. “I like to think it’s not just political.”

“All the more reason to be straight with him.” Jaemin sighs.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Good.”

“Thanks for all the advice,” Jaemin says snarky. “You’re as bad as my brothers.”

“Hey, I’m a god. I’m supposed to offer counsel and stuff.”

“Whatever,” Jaemin says rolling his eyes. “Is there any way I can return the favor?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Renjun watches his expressions, but Jaemin is looking anywhere but him. “You said you were having trouble sleeping, so I was thinking maybe I could help you like you helped me before. If you want to stay the night, anyway.”

Renjun is surprised, if only because he didn’t think Jaemin’s kindness extended like this. He had always thought that Jaemin put up with their previous sleeping arrangements for one reason or another. “Uh, sure. If that’s okay with you,” Renjun says.

“Good. That means I can sleep again.” He lays back down and pulls Renjun with him. “Can you blow out the candle?” Jaemin asks as he adjusts the blanket over them.

He blows the candle out, encasing them in darkness. Jaemin wraps his arms around Renjun’s waist and pulls him against his chest. “Goodnight,” comes out in a breath against Renjun’s neck and Renjun retracts his earlier thoughts. Their size difference definitely helps him feel safe and closer to sleep than he has all week. 

 

Next morning comes suddenly. Or afternoon. Renjun isn’t sure. It takes him a moment to recall last night. Jaemin is gone and Renjun wonders if he slept through the day. He certainly feels rested and it looks like Jaemin has been in and out of the room a couple times already. 

There’s not much to do other than find Jaemin, so he rolls up the padding and puts it in the proper trunk. He smooths out his hair and straightens his clothes. The outfit—like all the others he has—is a hand-me-down from Taeyong. The king said he’ll get clothes tailored for him soon, but until then he has Taeyong’s clothes from when he was younger.

He exits Jaemin’s room, surprising the guards on the way. They tell him it’s a couple hours past noon and where exactly he can find Jaemin. In fact, a guard even offers to lead him right there. “He’s having tea with his fiancé and his brothers,” the guard tells him while they walk. The guard leaves Renjun in front of a door to a parlor with a couple other guards standing in front of it. They bow to him and let him in. 

Renjun wants to roll his eyes when the princes stand to greet him. “Sit,” he says under his breath, aware he sounds irritated. Jaemin greets him with a smile, still sitting at the floor table. 

“So you finally woke up?” Jaemin asks, gesturing for Renjun to sit beside him. “I thought you’d sleep all day.”

“Couldn’t help myself. It worked.” He sits beside him, Jeno’s heavy glare from across the table making him conscious of keeping an appropriate distance. Yuta and the other guards’ looks also help that decision.

“May I ask what ‘worked’?” Doyoung asks. He slides a cup across the table and Jaemin pours some tea for Renjun. 

“I was having trouble sleeping. Jaemin helped with that last night.” Jungwoo chokes on his tea. 

“Not like that,” Jaemin whines. 

“Everyone here wants so badly for there to be a scandal,” Renjun mutters to himself. He turns to Jaemin, willfully ignoring any look Jeno might be handing him. “By the way, did you take my advice?”

“I haven’t had time,” Jaemin says. He purses his lips cutely, trying to get Renjun to go easy on him. 

“You should know by now that doesn’t work on me,” Renjun tells him. “Make time. It’s important.” His eyes slide to Jeno on the last part and he seems to at least understand the context, that they’re talking about him. 

“What—” Jungwoo starts, but Jeno cuts him off.

“It’s alright, Seongnim,” Jeno says. “Let’s not question them too much.” Renjun wonders if he can say him and Jeno are on the same side now, if only on the current topic.

“True,” Doyoung relents. “Jungwoo will of course have plenty of time to question Jaemin _Daegun_ this winter.”

“Yeah, that is kind of the whole point of it,” Jungwoo adds.

“Point of what?” Renjun asks.

“It’s part of the engagement, My Lord,” Doyoung says. “They must spend time with each other’s family. Admittedly, it’s been less organized than what would be normal due to… extenuating circumstances. But we’re attempting to keep with tradition as much as possible. Jungwoo will return to our kingdom with Jaemin _Daegun_ and Taeil _Daegun_ for the winter. The wedding will be after that.”

Renjun looks at Jaemin with a million questions in his eyes. “Should I…?”

“Do you want to?” Jaemin asks.

“I don’t think it would be helpful.”

“Agreed, if only for the fact I want to act selfish with it.” The last part escapes Renjun’s understanding and he raises his eyebrows. “I’ll explain later,” Jaemin assures him. 

“My Lord,” Doyoung says. “Our kingdom would welcome Renjun-ssi if he desires to visit.” Jeno throws his brother a surprised look. Before he can object, though, Renjun beats him to it.

“Thank you for the offer, but I’ll stay here.” 

“I see,” Doyoung continues. “And may I ask how the wish is going?”

“It’s going nowhere right now. I have already waited millennia, I assure you, _Daegun_ , I’m patient. Before I continue the quest, I think I must adjust to my new intimacy with humanity.”

“It’s hard to think in terms of millennia with such a young appearance,” Jungwoo says.

“This is how I first appeared to Jaemin when he came to my realm.”

“His perception? Or how Renjun-ssi wanted to be perceived?” Jeno asks. Maybe they’re not on the same side.

“A mix, I think?” Renjun says. “Though given the nature of your gods of love, we appear as your ideals, or at least an echo of it.” He immediately regrets his words. Through his memories, Renjun has seen Jeno’s smile and knows his aberrant frown is as ugly as his smile is beautiful.

“So Renjun-ssi appeared as Jaemin _Daegun's_ ideal?” Doyoung asks with a look mirroring his brother’s.

“I…” Jaemin finds no answer.

“I appeared as the ideal of love he needed at that time. Which was a caretaker. He needed me to take care of him, so I appeared as the ideal person for that love he desired. Regardless, those ideals are just visuals. Even if Jaemin found me prettier than Jeno, it wouldn’t mean I’d make a better partner for him, if that’s what you’re all getting at.”

“I said no such thing,” Doyoung says, though the implication still stands. Jeno is staring away from the rest of the table. He has an embarrassed look on his face and Renjun considers feeling guilty for humiliating him in front of others. 

“Perhaps,” Jaemin says sounding remarkably at ease for how uncomfortable he is. “We should move on to another activity. I believe, Injoon-ah, that my father wanted to speak with you today.”

“Should I go entertain an audience with him then?” Renjun asks. 

“Please.” It’s good enough for him. Jaemin gathers up the tea equipment, signaling the others to leave as well. Renjun doesn’t wait for any of the foreign princes to catch up.

 

Meeting with the king has essentially made Renjun’s time into a circus act. A week passes in the blink of an eye, Renjun summoned to this meeting and that speech. The only constant in the distracting whirlwind are his nights with Jaemin. 

Talking with only the candlelight between them is the highlight of both of their days. Past Jaemin saying he talked in detail with Jeno of his time away, they avoid the serious topics. They don’t talk about the wedding or politics. The icy relations with Jeno’s brothers remain untouched. They don’t even bring up their time in the garden. Jaemin just continues to teach him about living as a human and Renjun berates him with questions. 

The staff has noticed the many late-night rendezvous, but any discussion of it remains in the shadows, quiet whispers they hear when they walk down corridors. Renjun doesn’t particularly care. It’s nice being to be able to pretend he has a secret love with Jaemin, even though he already rejected Renjun. It doesn’t matter anyway. Jaemin and Jeno will be married in less than half a year and then perhaps Renjun can move on with his quest.

Perhaps he can even move on now. Though, he’ll wait to consider it until after Jaemin leaves properly. The staff is loading items onto the carriage while the princes bid farewell. Jungwoo gave him a courtesy nod before lingering with Jeno and Doyoung off to Renjun’s side. Jaemin approaches Renjun after visiting with his brothers that aren’t leaving.

Renjun was expecting the hug Jaemin gives him, but he didn’t expect the whispering. “Injoon-ah,” Jaemin says into his ear. “I know you two don’t get along, but can you watch after Jeno?”

“Wha—”

“Make sure he’s happy, for me? He worries too much.”

“Jaemin-ah, I don’t understand. What am I supposed to do?”

“Politically, we _need_ this marriage. We can’t risk his kingdom feeling even slightly jilted and pulling out. There’re already rumors. And aside from the politics… I don’t want to lose him.”

Now Renjun understands. He presses his fingers into Jaemin’s back, selfishly holding him too close. “Of course. I have no problem doing this for you.” It’s in his nature, anyway. As with every person he’s ever loved, all Renjun can do is try to make him happy.

Jaemin pulls away, hands on his shoulder. “Thank you. I’ll be back soon.” He offers Renjun a sweet smile, and even though Renjun wants to cry, he smiles back.

“I’m patient. But keep your word.”

Jaemin assures him he will and Renjun considers the promise he made. His feelings bind him to the word he gave Jaemin, regardless of how his heart rejects the idea of taking care of Jeno. He watches Jaemin cross to Jeno and exchange farewells. Renjun is too far away to hear their words but he can guess he wouldn’t want to hear it anyway. 

They leave finally, the carriage carried off by the horses and flanked by guards. Jeno is watching them, but Renjun is busy staring at the foreign prince. He’s not quite sure what it is about Jeno that bothers him so much. He refuses to acknowledge it’s his own jealousy that alienated him from Jeno. Whatever the reason, they’re connected by Jaemin and their love for him, and Renjun won’t allow that love to be desecrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made-up wedding traditions are made-up this is what happens when I inject gayness into alternate reality historical royalty let’s-mix-every-religion/mythos-we-can
> 
> Also I’m a sucker for the “we have to share the same bed for some reason” trope.


	5. Tell Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the chapters just keep getting longer!  
> Eris: Goddess of discord (As seen famously in _The Judgement of Paris_ )

“All due respect, My Lord,” Jeno says. “May I ask why I have been followed for the past few days?”

“No reason,” Renjun replies not breaking stride with him. They’re walking down the hall headed to wherever Jeno has his next schedule. Ever since Jaemin left, Renjun has stayed by his side during the day. He has no idea what he’s supposed to be protecting Jeno from, but at least it keeps him busy.

“My Lord,” Jeno repeats. He doesn’t finish that thought though. 

“Am I bothering Jeno-ssi?” 

“No,” he says too quickly. 

“Where are we going anyway?” Renjun asks to change the subject.

“I’m going out,” Jeno says. 

“So no events for today?” Jeno shakes his head. “Is it too painful to stay in?”

“Doyoung Seongnim can be stifling.”

“Good to know I’m not the only one that finds him annoying,” Renjun says. The look Jeno gives him is not pleasant. “So where exactly are we ‘going out’?”

“No offense, My Lord, but I don’t remember saying ‘we’.”

“Oh, it’ll be fun,” Renjun says. “I haven’t been outside the palace since I first got here.” Jeno sighs.

“Fine. Is horse riding a part of Renjun-ssi’s godly skillset?” Jeno asks as they reach an entrance to the outside, bright morning sun nearly blinding the both of them.

Renjun’s silence is telling. “Really?” Jeno asks sounding smug. If Renjun wasn’t tasked with watching out for Jeno, he might consider retaliating. “Jaeminnie said Renjun-ssi can speak whatever language he wants and cook anything, but he can’t ride a horse.”

“Because all that is in our domain,” Renjun says through gritted teeth. Jeno leads him through unfamiliar gardens to a small building. “Horseback riding has nothing to do with love.” Jeno looks far too pleased with himself.

They reach the building. Renjun hasn’t been here before and he can’t immediately discern its purpose. A staff member greets them and gestures Jeno away. “We have it ready, _Daegam_.”

“Thank you. And Renjun-ssi will be accompanying me.”

“Oh, we only have…”

“It’ll be fine. A bit big, but it’ll work.”

“What’ll work?” Renjun asks. But Jeno leaves with the staff member and another one comes to take Renjun away.

Ten minutes later, Renjun is wearing clothes that are too big for him. The staff said that originally Jeno was going outside alone, so they only prepared common clothes for him. They did prepare a few outfits though, which provides one for Renjun to borrow. But Jeno has the same build as Jaemin so everything is too loose no matter how the staff members tie it. 

“Cute,” Jeno says when they’re back in each other’s company. 

“Shut up,” Renjun says trying on his most threatening gaze.

“Jaeminnie said Renjun-ssi doesn’t kill people.” Jeno smiles at him and _that’s so cute_. 

“Whatever. Let’s go.” He’ll have to remember to complain to Jaemin about spilling all his secrets once Jaemin returns.

“One moment,” Jeno replies. The man from before returns to Jeno’s side and hands him a thin sword. Renjun adverts his gaze as Jeno hides the sword in his clothes. The man offers a similar one to Renjun, but he shakes his head.

“It wouldn’t be useful,” Renjun says.

“Does Renjun-ssi think he’s too good for a weapon?” Jeno asks. “Or perhaps he doesn’t know how to use it?”

“Shut up,” Renjun repeats sounding, in fact, less threatening than the first time he said it.

“Of course, My Lord,” Jeno says with a smile that looks anything but compliant. Jeno thanks the staff again, dismisses his guard, and leads Renjun out a different exit.

“We can’t ride horses in the city limits except for on special occasions,” Jeno explains while they walk. They’re soon outside the palace and in the crowd of common people. “So we’re going to the outskirts.”

“What’s the big deal with riding a horse anyway? Why go through all the trouble?”

“Stress relief.” He steps from the current of people, grabbing Renjun’s wrist to pull him out too. 

“And what is so stressful?” Renjun asks pretending he wasn’t startled by Jeno jerking him around. Jeno gives him a side-eye glare before turning back to the shopkeeper. 

“Auntie,” Jeno greets. He proceeds to ignore Renjun and instead buy various food items. He gives her more money than she asks for and carefully puts all the items into his bag. Jeno takes him into the throng, hand on his wrist again.

“Is there at least a reason for the disguises?”

“Renjun-ssi wouldn’t understand. Gods like being worshipped. But it can get annoying for us humans.” The crowd is thinning out as they get further from the center of town.

“Actually,” Renjun starts. Jeno looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “Never mind,” Renjun says looking away. What does it mean to tell Jeno that he can empathize with him anyway. “Are we almost there?”

“It’s right over there.” He gestures to a building in the distance. Renjun sees nothing but open fields past it.

“Good. I’m getting tired of you dragging me around.” Jeno’s gaze snaps to where they’re hands meet and Jeno immediately drops his wrist. 

“Sorry,” he mutters under his breath. Jeno hurries along, reaching the building before Renjun can respond properly.

“Jeno _Daegun Daegam_ ,” a man greets at the door. His eyes find Renjun and he greets him with a shallow bow, like he isn’t quite sure of his status. It’s refreshing.

“Can you prepare two horses?” Jeno asks. The man bows again and disappears into the building. Jeno turns to Renjun. “We have to go around. Come on.”

“Is Jeno-ssi going to hold my hand again?”

“Shut up!” Jeno stammers. He stalks around the building, not caring to see if Renjun follows. But of course he does because he made a promise.

On the other side are a handful of horses. Jeno is standing off to the edge watching another man lead two of them towards him. “Ready?” Jeno asks.

“Of course,” Renjun says trying not to sound intimidated. He has lived an immeasurable amount of time and witnessed countless tragedy. Yet the horse currently being walked to him is one of the most terrifying things he’s seen.

The handler gives him the basics and tells him how to not get kicked by accident. Jeno regards it all with a satisfied smirk. “All that’s left is to mount, My Lord,” the handler says. Renjun takes a deep breath and tries to mount the horse.

“Easy there,” Jeno teases. Renjun struggles more before managing to get on the horse. He glares down at Jeno. 

“Shut up. Let’s go.” Renjun gingerly holds the reins and tries not to freak out. He is suddenly reminded how mortal he now is.

“My sincere apologies, keeping Renjun-ssi waiting.” Jeno mounts easily and turns the horse towards the forest. “Let’s go then.”

 

It takes a while for Renjun to get the hang of it, but then it’s smooth sailing. The horse is well trained and follows after Jeno’s horse without command. Jeno is definitely relaxed with the cold wind in his face. They ride around seemingly aimless until Jeno pulls his horse to a walking gait in a thicker part of the forest. 

“Where are we headed?” Renjun asks after somehow managing to slow his horse as well.

“We haven’t eaten yet,” Jeno replies instead. 

They reach a clearing suddenly, sunlight shining through the orange leaves of high branches onto a patch of dry grass. Jeno stops the horse and dismounts. He watches in amusement as Renjun wrangles with the reins to come to a stop. After too long Jeno asks, “is Renjun-ssi going to get down?”

“One second,” Renjun says trying to sound unbothered. 

“It’s the same as getting on. Renjun-ssi needs to swing a leg over and lower himself to the ground. Here, I’ll keep Hwanggeum from moving too much.” Jeno holds the lead and looks up at him.

Renjun takes a deep breath. He grips the front of the saddle, knuckles turning white, and shakily swings one leg over. _Just lower yourself_ , he reminds himself. This isn’t nearly as bad as when Jaemin took him to the lake. That thought proves to be little consolation when he misjudges how far he is from the ground and lets go of the saddle too soon.

Except strong arms keep him from falling, his back pressed against a toned chest as his feet are lowered slowly to the hard ground. The arms are hooked under his armpits, and even though Renjun knows what’s going on, all he can think about is the last time Jaemin hugged him from behind. 

“Sorry,” Jeno says before jerking away from Renjun. He turns around to see Jeno with a fearful look in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” Renjun says. He ignores how hot his face feels. “Thank you.” Jeno turns away from him.

“We should eat.” He grabs his bag and lays the food he bought earlier on it. Jeno puts his sword on the ground beside them and then carefully unwraps each item, vinegar and spice filling the air. He hands Renjun a pair of chopsticks and they start eating from the absurdly large spread. 

“Jeno-ssi,” Renjun says after a moment. Jeno looks up at him from the salty cabbage. “What did Jeno-ssi mean when he talked about the worshipping being annoying?” He lowers his chopsticks and purses his lips.

“It’s like… the way the staff talks to me, anyone from the public, and honestly even some of my family members. It’s not authentic.”

“Hmm, what does Jeno-ssi mean?” Renjun asks. Jeno shrugs uncomfortably.

“It’s never clear if they’re being sincere, if they like me for me or if they like me for my title.”

“Even Jaeminnie?” 

“No!” Jeno gives him a sharp look. “Of course not. Honestly, it’s only him, Doyoung Seongnim, and Jungwoo Seongnim that treat me like a regular person.”

“What about me? Does Jeno-ssi think I only like him for his title?”

“Renjun-ssi likes me?” Jeno asks with faux surprise. Renjun does not dignify him with a response to his terrible jokes. Jeno apologizes under his breath and continues. “No. Renjun-ssi doesn’t only like me for my title. In fact, I wonder if he dislikes me because of it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Renjun says. Confronted with the thought, he doesn’t actually know why Jeno always makes him irritated. Probably because Jeno was stupidly possessive and icy when they first met. Yes, of course that’s the answer.

“And I’m assuming it’s the opposite for Renjun-ssi?”

“Hm?”

“Of course, being a god, Renjun-ssi would be upset by people not worshipping him.”

“Not in the slightest,” Renjun says pretending to be more focused on the food for a moment. 

“I can’t tell if that was disingenuous,” Jeno replies.

“It was completely genuine,” Renjun says. “My brothers always said I was abnormal for that—it’s hardly a godlike quality to avoid worship, unsurprisingly. But especially here in the mortal world, it’s… Never mind. I don’t know why I’m telling Jeno-ssi any of this.”

“No, please, continue,” Jeno says earnestly. “Nobody ever wants to talk about this with me. They always tell me I’m too pretentious about it and to just accept my role. Even Jaemin tells—wait.” 

Jeno’s sudden stop is jarring. The way his eyes shift around further heighten Renjun’s nerves. Jeno slowly rests a hand on the sword beside him, using his thumb to loosen the blade from the sheath. Renjun starts to ask what he heard but Jeno raises a finger to his mouth.

A few deafening minutes later and Jeno relaxes. “What was that?” Renjun asks.

“I thought I heard something. Doesn’t matter, we should be going anyway,” Jeno says. He packs up the remainder of the food. “Since I know it’ll take a long time, why doesn’t Renjun-ssi go ahead and start mounting?” Renjun mutters some choice words under his breath but doesn’t dissent.

Within a few minutes, they’ve both mounted and are heading into town. Jeno takes a less scenic route on the return journey than he did going out. He is still agitated, despite not telling Renjun what the threat might be. He considers it might be whatever Jaemin was worried about, though he had begun leaning towards a more metaphorical threat being the true answer. Either way, Renjun keeps his eyes peeled for anything unusual. 

They reach town quickly. The horses are released to handlers to walk their sweat off and Jeno gives the staff the remaining food. That at least explains why he bought way more than the two of them could have eaten alone. Jeno doesn’t linger, instead leading Renjun into the throes of people as soon as he can.

There are even more people bustling about than before. It’s suffocating and Renjun is sure they would have been separated if Jeno didn’t keep a constant hand around his wrist. He doesn’t recognize the streets or any landmarks, just a wash of strangers passing by. It only makes him more anxious, the memory of Jeno’s earlier tension fresh in his mind. 

Maybe that’s what makes him trace the movement beside them that seems to mimic their own path. It’s uncanny how it keeps up with them. Renjun considers telling Jeno about it, but he seems focused on getting them to the palace grounds. 

But then suddenly Renjun sees the person who was following them. He cuts his way towards them and Renjun is conscious of the hand at his waist, pulling a sword out of his clothes. The crowd notices it too and backs away from the man to stay out of it. His eyes are locked on Renjun and Jeno, there’s no question who his target is.

Jeno realizes what’s going on when the man is close enough to reach them. There isn’t enough time for him to pull out his own sword. The crowd is too thick to make a proper escape. Jeno looks around for an answer, but Renjun jerks him backwards.

He holds Jeno back with a hand on his chest, putting himself between Jeno and the assassin. The assassin doesn’t care, though; he raises his sword indiscriminately. Renjun’s vision narrows to the sword, heart hammering in his chest. He’ll lose his nerve if he doesn’t screw his eyes shut right now. He can’t believe he only managed to survive as a human for barely a month. Whatever. It’s the least he can do for Jaemin, raise his arm against the sword even though he knows it won’t stop the blade.

Except it never comes. He hears the sword clash against metal. Renjun tentatively opens his eyes and sees a guardsman dispatching the criminal. He shoves him to the ground, sword falling beside him like a toy, and ties his hands. The arm holding Jeno back relaxes. 

“What—” Jeno starts, staring down at him with wide eyes. He stops himself when he remembers where they are. This isn’t his kingdom, so the people aren’t as acquainted with his face, but if he stands here long enough, they might draw conclusions. He grabs Renjun’s hand again. “Let’s go.”

He moves even quicker before, dragging Renjun faster than he can walk comfortably. “Who was that?” Renjun asks while they go through an alleyway.

“Don’t know,” Jeno replies curtly. Renjun wants to ask more questions, but he gets that Jeno doesn’t want to talk.

They reach the palace quickly. They return to the building at the outskirts of the grounds and are ushered into separate rooms to change. Renjun assumes Jeno briefs the guards on what happened. Who knows when they’ll bring him in, Renjun doesn’t know anything about the legal system here. 

He allows himself to get led back to the main buildings, though he doesn’t know where Jeno is. Everything is so busy, guards and staff everywhere. He is largely ignored once he’s deposited in one of the main buildings, so he wanders around unseen. Jeno must be around here somewhere. 

It takes him close to half an hour, but he finds Jeno. He’s squirreled away in a tea room, his personal guard standing by the wall and Doyoung sitting beside Jeno at the floor table. They seem surprised by his sudden presence, but Renjun doesn’t particularly care.

“Hey, so is someone going to explain what happened?” Renjun asks adopting his normal aggressive demeanor.

“It was another assassination attempt,” Doyoung says with a glare. Renjun sits beside Jeno, ignoring Doyoung’s microaggressions.

“Another?” Renjun asks. Jeno nods somberly.

“The last one was about seven months ago—the one Jaemin was injured in,” Jeno says. “We thought they had stopped.”

“I think they stopped because they presumed they were successful after Jaemin Daegun’s disappearance,” Doyoung says. “At least the one who cornered you in the street was caught. They’ll probably interrogate him, see exactly why these attempts are continuing.” He puts a hand on Jeno’s shoulder. “It’s lucky he waited until you were in town, so that at least there were guards around. Though, if you listened to me and didn’t galivant around outside without supervision, it wouldn’t have been a problem anyway.”

“A god doesn’t count as supervision?” Jeno asks. Doyoung presses his lips into a thin line.

“Yeah, I did a great job,” Renjun says sarcastically. “Seriously, it was lucky there was a guard nearby.” Jeno sighs.

“What’s wrong?” Doyoung asks. He slides his hand further around Jeno’s back, but Jeno shrugs him off.

“It’s nothing. Seongnim, could I talk to Renjun-ssi alone, please?” Doyoung looks surprised, but he collects himself and nods his head.

“Sure.”

It’s silent for a moment after he leaves. Jeno stares at his lap, eyebrows together like he’s formulating his next words. Renjun doesn’t say anything, just waits for Jeno to be ready to speak. Finally, Jeno quietly asks, “Was Renjun-ssi going to give his life for me?”

The questions shocks Renjun. “This is a mortal body, but that doesn’t mean he could have killed me,” Renjun says.

“Don’t lie. Jaemin told me—I’m pretty sure he only told me,” Jeno says. “He would have killed Renjun-ssi… but Renjun-ssi still tried to protect me. Why?”

“Because…” Renjun considers his possible answers. He could come up with another lie, perhaps something believable. Hell, he could tell Jeno that it’s in his nature to keep people from suffering as much as he can. But instead he tells Jeno, “Jaemin asked me to protect Jeno-ssi.”

“Seriously?” Jeno asks. He jerks away from Renjun with a hurt look on his face. “I’m not a kid. Why would he—”

“Hey, there is no reason to get so upset,” Renjun says. “Chill out.” Jeno regards Renjun harshly, but he does take a moment to collect his words.

“Why,” Jeno says, eyes like steel. Renjun shrugs.

“He said Jeno-ssi worries too much,” Renjun says. “And it’s about not losing the political gains of the marriage, or Jeno-ssi as his friend.”

“No offense,” Jeno says with a considerably lighter tone, “but without immortality, Renjun-ssi is kind of useless.”

“Well, that isn’t wrong,” Renjun says. He avoids looking at Jeno, seeing his reactions. “I owe it to him, anyway. Even if I can’t do anything, I might as well try to be good to him.” After a moment, Jeno sighs.

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Jeno says. Renjun looks back at him, but Jeno doesn’t meet his gaze. He’s too busy staring at his hands in his lap. “If I’m being honest, ever since he’s been back, I’ve felt like I should be taking care of him. After… after Jaemin disappeared, everyone assumed the worst. I just, I felt so _guilty_.”

“It couldn’t have been Jeno-ssi’s fault,” Renjun says quickly. He has absolutely no idea of how to comfort him, so Renjun settles on placing his hand on Jeno’s should like Doyoung always does.

“He got hurt because he was trying to protect me,” Jeno says, voice cracking. “And now he’s doing it again, even when he’s not here.”

“It’s how he is,” Renjun says. “Jaeminnie always puts others first.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Jeno mutters. He gently removes Renjun’s hand from his shoulder, not in a way that rejects the gesture, but more in a way that shows it worked to comfort him and wasn’t needed any more. “What was Renjun-ssi going to say back in the forest, before we left?”

“What about? The worship thing?” Renjun retreats from his gaze. “Well, Jeno-ssi was right, about how gods like being worshipped. But I was never really like that. Gods act as guardians for humanity, right? It’s only right that we expect payment for it. Most gods like worship, but a few, because of our natures or domains, want something else.”

“Okay, that’s understandable. But what even is Renjun-ssi’s domain? I know it’s a type of love, and it can’t be Pragma because Renjun-ssi said that was someone else, so what is it? Of course, I doubt Eros or Mania, because that doesn’t seem to fit.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Renjun says. “And I’m not going to say what my explicit domain is because then it’s pretty easy to figure out my wish. If someone does figure it out, then the possibility of my wish getting fulfilled is nullified.”

“Hmmm, fine. I won’t ask about it.”

“Thanks,” Renjun says softly. He considers his next words, if he really means them or not. “If Jeno-ssi wants, since by mortal standards—or at least biological standards—we’re the same age, I wouldn’t mind, that is it’s okay, if Jeno-ssi wants to speak informally to me.”

“Huh?” Renjun looks away from Jeno’s searching eyes. It’s silent for too long before Jeno says, “Sure. If that’s okay with… you.”

“Yeah.” Renjun lets out the breath he was holding. “It’s kind of refreshing. Being treated normally, right?”

“Yeah, it is.” Renjun turns to look at him just as Jeno smiles, eyes curving with it as his whole face lights up. His breath catches with it and he has to try hard not to look at Jeno with such blatant admiration. “Hey, what does Jaeminnie call you again?”

“Injoon,” he says welcome for the distraction from his thoughts. “It’s easier to pronounce, if you want to call me that.”

“If you don’t mind.” _Seriously, how is he sweet too_ , Renjun thinks.

“Shouldn’t you go check on Doyoung?” Renjun asks. Getting Jeno to leave, and therefore stop Renjun from embarrassing himself, is of utmost importance.

Jeno sighs. “You’re probably right.” He stands reluctantly. “See you later?”

“It’s not like there’s a lot of places to go,” Renjun replies. Jeno laughs at him, something pure that Renjun was not ready for. He leaves, letting Renjun stew in his thoughts alone.

 

Several days later, and Renjun has plenty of reasons to be losing sleep. He’s still berating himself over loving Jaemin—even though it’s been like eight months—he’s now dealing with whatever is going on with Jeno, and the question of his wish is completely turned around at this point. It’s too much for him to want to think about.

Which is probably why he’s dozing off right now. The warmth against his side certainly helps, as does the soothing voice he hears. Renjun can’t quite remember when he leaned against Jeno, but he hasn’t said anything about it.

“Are you even listening to me?” Jeno asks. Renjun opens his eyes for a brief moment to see Jeno looking down at him. 

“Of course,” Renjun slurs. “I’ve been listening.”

“Sure,” Jeno says not sounding convinced. Regardless, he goes back to reading. Probably after flipping through a couple more of the small folds, Jeno stops again. “If you’re listening, then what have I been saying?”

“Hmm,” Renjun hums, but he ultimately doesn’t say anything.

“Thought so,” Jeno says. “Why are you so tired anyway? Have you not been sleeping well?”

“No.” Renjun begrudgingly sits up. He rolls his shoulders and his neck, then rubs at his eyes.

Jeno fixes him with a frown. “Is something wrong?” Renjun shrugs, not particularly anxious to answer him. “Is it because of your bedding? You can always tell the staff and they can get you something more comfortable.”

“It’s not that,” Renjun says. He racks his mind for an answer. “It’s just… I’m not used to this mortal body.” Not particularly a lie, but Renjun is sure it has more to do with loneliness than anything else.

“Oh, I thought you fixed that after…” Jeno awkwardly coughs. 

“It’s a different situation now,” Renjun says. With Jaemin gone, he consistently finds himself searching for an absent warmth.

“Well… If you’re comfortable with it, maybe I could do that for you. Keep you company?” The incredulous look Renjun gives Jeno has him floundering. “I mean, I don’t what the deal was exactly, but Jaeminnie told me it wasn’t anything… intimate. It’s easier with company, right? Like, I used to spend nights with my brothers when we were younger. And I understand if you find it weird for me to offer, or whatever, but—”

“Jeno,” Renjun says to shut him up. “It’s okay, you aren’t being weird. Honestly, I didn’t expect you to offer.” He takes a deep breath and collects himself. He blames this all on his fatigued mind. “And yeah. If you’re offering, then yes.” For some reason, Renjun feels like they agreed to something dirty. It’s not quite betrayal, but it’s another knot in the rope.

 

They start off relatively distant, enjoying the conversations after the candle has been blown out with plenty of space between them on the bedding. Unlike Jaemin, Jeno doesn’t let Renjun sleep in, though; so Renjun gets a steady habit of waking at a decent hour with the rest of the world. One morning, he even wakes up before Jeno, which shocks him less than the fact that Jeno is holding him in his arms.

He wakes Jeno while trying to remove himself. Jeno blinks open his eyes, with a look of confusion before the reality sinks in. “Sorry,” Jeno says sitting up across from Renjun, both their cheeks a similar red.

“No, I’m sorry,” Renjun says. _One embarrassment after another_. But at least Jeno doesn’t look too bothered.

“Probably happened subconsciously,” Jeno mutters. 

“Definitely,” Renjun agrees quickly.

They choose not to talk about it further and don’t even meet each other’s eyes for the rest of the day. They still don’t talk about it when Renjun comes to his room that night, or any of the following. Even a week later, the only proof of their activities is in the comfortable interactions they don’t bother hiding. Renjun is pretty sure Jaemin’s brothers as well as Doyoung have noticed their sudden closeness, but nobody mentions anything.

That is, Renjun didn’t think anyone was talking about it until now.

He can’t see them from his vantage point. The moment he heard Doyoung mention his name, Renjun stopped before the door frame. He steps closer to the wall to stay out of sight, careful to not jostle anything on the tea tray. Luckily the cloth dampens most of the sound, and Renjun can hear the conversation clearly.

“—It needs to stop,” Doyoung reiterates. Jeno sighs.

“’It’ isn’t anything,” Jeno says. 

“Well, it’s enough for there to be rumors. I don’t think the king has heard about it—which is a blessing—but it could reach him at any moment. The arrangement is already strained, rumors of infidelity won’t exactly help.” Infidelity? Renjun rolls his eyes. _They all want so badly for there to be a scandal_.

“But that’s ridiculous! Why would a _god of love_ , who said himself that Lay approves of the marriage, try to break it up?”

“It could be lies. He has not said who he really is. What if he’s an embodiment of Eris?” Jeno is quiet for a moment before he responds.

“No way. If he was, it would have happened much quicker.”

“How do we know?”

“Trust me—could you, maybe just once, Seongnim, actually trust me? I know that Renjun doesn’t have any malicious goals.”

“Regardless,” Doyoung says. “People are talking. What they have to say about the matter is honestly more important than the truth. First, they talked about him and Jaemin _Daegun_. Now you and him. The patterns aren’t hidden to anyone.”

“But nothing is happening!” Renjun has never heard Jeno raise his voice, but it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand. 

“Then stop looking at him like there is something,” Doyoung says, voice cold as ice. Renjun can’t bare to hear any more and keep quiet, and Jeno hasn’t responded in far too long. So he steps through the doorway, pretending he hadn’t heard a word.

The brothers seem shocked by Renjun’s greeting. He doesn’t comment on the tense atmosphere, or their defensive postures. “Oh, is Doyoung joining us for tea?” Renjun asks. The older prince takes a step back, stance crafted into something more relaxed. 

“I was on my way out, but thank you,” Doyoung says. He gives Jeno one last look that reprises their conversation in an instant before he leaves. Renjun nods politely when Doyoung passes. 

Jeno lets out a breath once Doyoung is gone from sight. “Something happen?” Renjun asks. It’s so much easier to pretend sometimes, than to say what’s on the mind.

“The usual, I guess,” Jeno says. He shakes his head like he’s trying to get rid of the memory of it. He gestures to the center of the floor. 

“You can put it there. What took you so long anyway?”

“Nothing,” Renjun says. Unsaid is easy, but lying—especially to Jeno these days—is difficult.

They sit on either side of the table, Jeno explaining each step of the process as he performs them. He sounds at peace, especially as he teases Renjun.

“How can you literally know every language and how to cook anything, but you don’t know how to properly make tea?” Jeno asks.

“It’s not in my domain,” Renjun says, aware of how petulant he sounds.

“That’s what you always say.” Jeno said it like an inside joke, a beautiful smile punctuating it and curving his eyes up into cute crescents. It’s so enamoring that it pulls out a genuine smile from Renjun.

And he realizes how completely, irrevocably he’s fallen in love with Jeno.

In an instant, he recalls every conversation they had under candlelight, every subtle joke that made Renjun laugh despite how unfunny they were, every moment beside him, and every shared smile that led up to this single, blisteringly bright moment.

Jeno notices the change in his demeanor immediately. He tilts his head, softly inquiring what’s wrong.

“Nothing,” Renjun forces out. He managed to never say anything to Jaemin, so he can do the same for Jeno. Rumors are rumors without a confession. He’s already cemented himself as an awful being by falling in love with one engaged guy. What’s another and a couple of lies to top it off?

Jeno is kind enough not to question him further, but there’s a glint in his eyes that disconcerts Renjun. He looks like he knows something and is intent on figuring it out fully later.

Jeno offers him a cup, but Renjun shakes his head. “I’m not feeling well today,” Renjun says. Jeno frowns, worry creasing his brow. “I think I’ll go get some rest.”

“Are you sure? Can I get you anything?” Jeno asks. Renjun shakes his head and stands.

“No. Thank you for the tea, I’m sorry to cut our time short.” 

“I hope you feel better,” Jeno says and Renjun turns his back. He’s too nice to Renjun.

Renjun has no idea what he’s going to do. Being with Jaemin had already hurt enough, he can’t imagine having the same feelings for Jeno—especially when these two are engaged to each other. He’ll have to ask his brothers for advice. 

He prays while he walks to his room. It’s silent, and Renjun wonders if this is because he’s neglected to say anything to them in so long. When he does finally get an answer, it’s a vague command to go to bed. Despite the sun still in the sky, Renjun listens. 

It’s a struggle to fall asleep. When he finally does, the world shifts around him like he’s awake again. His dark room has been replaced by the garden. He had forgotten what it looked like, all the saturated colors and warm sunlight.

But the most beautiful sight for him to see is Sicheng standing among the trees. He offers Renjun a soft smile. Renjun doesn’t hesitate to fall into his open arms. 

“Gege, I missed you so much,” Renjun says, gripping the front of Sicheng’s robes and burying his face into his neck.

“I missed you too,” Sicheng says. He holds Renjun against him, stroking his back and carding his hand through his hair. It feels so much like home that Renjun can’t stop from crying.

Sicheng doesn’t push him to speak. He lets Renjun get it all out. When his sadness is spent, Renjun pulls back and Sicheng wipes the tears from his cheeks. “Tell me,” Sicheng says.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” Renjun admits. Sicheng prompts him forward so Renjun tells him the whole story, his heart getting lighter with each sentence. But at the end, he’s still troubled.

“What do I do?” Renjun asks. “Yixing acknowledged them as good, right? So why do I love them?”

“I wish we knew,” Sicheng says. “You’re partially divine, we can’t read you like we can humans.”

“Can you at least tell me why Jaemin visited me then?” Sicheng looks away from Renjun’s direct gaze.

“Because we thought he was the one,” Sicheng admits.

“But only after his official engagement,” Renjun says flatly.

“It’s how it needed to happen,” Sicheng says. Renjun knows he can’t complain—he is just as enigmatic when he wants to be—but it still annoys him.

“So now what,” Renjun says through gritted teeth. There’s a beat of silence between them, both staring at each other not sure where to go.

“Tell him the truth,” Sicheng says. He pulls Renjun close again before he can ask any questions. “We love you,” Sicheng says softly.

The dream dissolves around them.

 

Renjun had woke up the day after, but he hasn’t been able to manage to see Jeno for longer than a passing moment the past couple of days. The king has Renjun running around on various errands, making appearances or sitting in on meetings, and Jeno is off doing whatever is left to be done for the wedding. It takes Renjun pulling Jeno off his path to be able to talk.

“What are you doing?” Jeno asks stumbling to Renjun’s side. “I have a meeting wi—”

“Blow them off,” Renjun says. He tugs on Jeno’s sleeve more until he follows him. Jeno’s attendants are at a loss watching the prince leave with the god.

“Is something wrong?” Jeno asks, more worried than irritated now.

“I need to talk with you,” Renjun says trying to quiet the erratic beating of his heart.

“Okay.” Jeno sounds deadly serious after hearing Renjun’s tone.

Renjun ducks into an empty parlor, closing the door behind them. Jeno sees the scattered look on his face and grabs both his hands to try and ground him. Renjun is grateful for it, and doesn’t object when Jeno pulls him down to sit on the floor cushions.

It takes Renjun a moment to gather his thoughts, and Jeno is perfectly patient with him. Finally, Renjun opens his mouth and the words come flowing out like a river.

“I’m in love with Jaemin,” Renjun says staring pointedly at the floor. He can’t check Jeno’s expression. The thick silence between them is oppressive until Jeno softly squeezes his hands.

“I thought so,” Jeno says quietly. He doesn’t sound upset, just somber. Surprise pulls Renjun’s gaze back to his. “I mean, I don’t know. It kind of made sense. But after getting to know you, I wasn’t worried about it. You’re too kind.” Jeno shrugs and smiles awkwardly. “Neither of you seemed the type. I figured you could have called off the marriage by divine authority that first day you were here, but you didn’t.”

“Jeno…” Renjun is at a loss for words. “If you knew, why didn’t you say anything?” He shrugs again.

“Like I said, I’m not worried about it. What would have been the point?”

“But,” _it’s not fair, to either of you_.

“It’s okay, Injoon-ah,” Jeno says with his beautiful smile. 

“But I love you too,” Renjun says with tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Jeno jerks away, retracting his hands and staring in complete confusion.

Renjun wipes the tears off his cheeks. “Why are you so nice? I’m so terrible, loving Jaemin when he’s engaged, and then falling for you while he’s gone. It’s not okay! You two are ordained—you’re _meant_ to be by heaven’s word—yet. Here I am. Why?”

He covers his eyes, irritating the thin skin around them. But Jeno grabs his wrists to move them away. “Injoon-ah, Renjun-ah,” Jeno soothes trying to draw him out. It only makes Renjun push Jeno away.

“Stop,” Renjun says forcefully. He stumbles to his feet and steps back. His hands are shaking, and the tears flow faster when he looks at Jeno’s innocent features. “I should go—I need to go.”

“But—” Renjun doesn’t wait to hear the rest, disappearing into the hallway.

He heads to where the king is supposed to be right now. On the way, he dries his eyes until the skin is raw and tries to appear somewhat composed. Renjun intends on keeping his promise of leaving. It may take a few days to get everything in order—and he’ll have to avoid Jeno the entire time—but it’s the only option. He can’t stay here anymore, caught between these two he can never have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can’t already tell, I’m a dramatic bitch. Don’t worry everything will get fixed in the next chapter because I need a happy ending.  
> Also, this chapter was the longest. The next (and the last) will be a bit shorter.


	6. Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. The end. This was the hardest part to write, I hope you enjoy it.

Renjun has hardly left his room the past week. His talk with the king went well enough, though it took longer than he had wanted to convince him he was leaving and that it wasn’t because of any issue. The king eventually relented, and began preparations so Renjun can at leave comfortably. At Renjun’s request, he also agreed to keep it relatively private. He doesn’t want to invite discussion with Jeno about it.

In fact, never talking to Jeno again seems like a good idea right now. His affections haven’t waned with the distance, but time will probably do the job. Pining after a man already engaged isn’t good for anyone. And Renjun already checked: Jeno loves Jaemin, not Renjun.

Someone outside of his room politely asks to enter. “Come in,” Renjun calls. She’s a staff member, probably in to take away the dishes from his lunch. That’s another reason to thank the king, how he has meals brought to Renjun, so he doesn’t need to leave and risk running into Jeno.

“My Lord,” the staff member says. Renjun doesn’t bother turning around to see her, content to lay in his bedding staring at the window like he has been doing for the past few days continuously. 

“Yes?” he prompts, tone betraying his fatigued state.

“Lee Jeno _Daegun Daegam_ is asking after Renjun-ssi,” she says. Renjun sighs.

“He’s not allowed to visit,” Renjun says.

“He told me Renjun-ssi would say that, and he said to follow up with the message: ‘we need to talk’.”

“No,” Renjun says flatly. She’s silent for a minute, the only sounds in the room coming from the dishes shifting in her hands.

“Understood, My Lord.” She leaves without another word.

Maybe it’s time for a nap. It’s much more painful to stay awake, there’s nothing to do anyway while he waits for the preparations to finish. He has no idea why they’re taking so long. Renjun considers getting up to at least draw the curtains close, but decides it would take far too much energy. He probably deserves the restless sleep.

When he drifts into consciousness, the room is dark, not even moonlight shining to supplement his sight. There’s another voice outside his room. So late at night? It’s probably what woke him.

“My Lord,” a different staff member from before calls.

“Is it news about the preparations?” Renjun calls back trying to not sound like he just woke up.

“No, My Lord.”

“Then leave me be.”

“Sir—”

“I don’t care what Lee Jeno has to say.”

“But—” 

“It is late. Leave me be,” Renjun repeats. It must work, because the staff member does not call out to him again. Irritated and angry, Renjun closes his eyes, wishing for sleep again.

It finally comes, but it’s as restless as the last bout. At least when he wakes again, it’s late morning and there’s a meal laid out for him.

He gets up, not bothering to roll up the bedding, knowing he’ll return to it soon. He’s in the middle of eating when he hears someone enter the room. Since the person didn’t call out for permission beforehand, Renjun is shocked.

“Stop bothering me,” he growls. When he hears the reply, he almost drops his chopsticks. 

“Injoon-ah,” a voice says that is certainly not Jeno’s. He has to remind himself how to breathe.

“Yes?” His voice is strained, and he can’t bring himself to turn around. It doesn’t matter, though, because Jaemin walks around into his line of sight. 

“You don’t sound like you missed me,” Jaemin says lightly. Renjun looks up at him and can’t help all the sudden emotions hitting him like a tidal wave. 

“I did, Jaemin—I missed you so much,” Renjun says before he can think better of it. The smile he gets only makes it harder.

“Good.” Jaemin sits across from him, fixing Renjun with his typical sincere gaze. “I got in last night, but the staff told me you haven’t been accepting visitors this past week.” Renjun shrugs, looking away from Jaemin.

“Haven’t been feeling good,” Renjun says. It isn’t a complete lie, anyway.

“Jeno told me what happened,” Jaemin says and it’s like Renjun got kicked in the gut. “I get falling for Jeno. I wanted to tell you I’m not mad at you for it. I mean, look at me, I fell for him a long time ago. It’s easy to.”

The silence afterwards lets Renjun know the second part, that Jaemin doesn’t know anything else that they talked about. Of course Jeno didn’t confess to Jaemin for him, Jeno isn’t cruel like that. But he wasn’t completely silent about it, because Jaemin follows up with, “also, Jeno told me you have something to tell me.”

He waits patiently while Renjun gathers himself. His expression betrays no knowledge of what Renjun might say. All Jaemin knows is that Renjun loves Jeno—and is oddly relieved by it when Renjun expected a negative reaction—how could he possibly guess what Renjun has to confess now? He tries to remind himself that Jeno wouldn’t push him to confess if it would ruin Renjun’s relationship with Jaemin. It’s as good a time as any.

“He’s too nice,” Renjun says. 

“Generally,” Jaemin says casually.

“I… when I confessed to him, I also told him something else. I guess he wants me to tell you, but I have no idea why he would want that.” Renjun takes a deep breath. “Even though I love Jeno, I also love you. The whole reason I gave up my immortality, was because falling in love with you made me remember how much I missed humanity. My wish,” Renjun says struggling through the words. “It’s silly, actually. All I want—all I’ve ever wanted, was to love someone and have that returned. But it’s my curse to have that never happen.”

He couldn’t bring himself to check Jaemin’s actions while he spoke. He wrings his hands in his lap as the words fade into the air, his nails biting against the skin harder with each passing second. Renjun decides that regardless of if the king has preparations finished or not, he’s leaving today. 

He’s about to announce such, but Jaemin takes his hand. Jaemin brings it up to his lips and places a chaste kiss on it. Renjun stares at him, wide eyes and mouth open. Jaemin smiles shyly. “Back in the garden, I may have fallen for you.”

“But what about Jeno?” Jaemin laughs.

“I don’t think he would have made you confess if he didn’t know what was going to happen. He’s an awful liar. The moment he told me about what happened, I knew he liked you back.”

“I can’t believe it,” Renjun says. “Seriously? We’ve been stumbling around each other for how long—four months? And all this time it was so simple?”

“I don’t know about simple,” Jaemin teases. “It seemed like you two hated each other in the beginning.” Renjun laughs.

“Jealous, maybe. We thought we were competing,” Renjun says. “But you’re okay with this?”

“Being with the two people I love most in the world? Of course.” He squeezes Renjun’s hand and Renjun wonders if it’s his time to die already. “Should we go talk to Jeno about it? Just to make sure?”

“Aish, I hope he doesn’t hate me. I’ve been avoiding him all week,” Renjun admits.

“When we talked, he just seemed sad. It’ll be fine.” He stands, not letting go of Renjun’s hand, forcing him up with him.

“You two are embarrassing,” Renjun says. But he doesn’t resist as Jaemin drags him out his cave. 

Honestly, he shouldn’t be surprised when they found Jeno standing outside his room. He stares at them nervous, searching for any indication of what they talked about. His eyes fall on their intertwined hands and he smiles. 

“Shut up,” Renjun mutters, trying to hide his smile. Jeno laughs.

“I didn’t say anything,” Jeno says. He offers his hand to Renjun and is surprised when he gets a hug.

“Cute,” Jaemin says behind them.

“Shut up,” Renjun repeats. At least Jaemin can’t see his blush since his face is buried in Jeno’s neck. “I hate both of you.”

“Lies,” Jeno says, but his arms are tight around Renjun’s waist. 

“Alright, now that everything is settled,” Jaemin says. “Injoon, I think you should go tell the king you aren’t leaving, right?”

“Right,” Renjun says.

“It was a dramatic decision,” Jeno says. 

“Shhh,” Renjun whispers. “I thought I ruined everything with you two.”

“So you brooded for a week? Okay, makes sense,” Jaemin teases.

Renjun finally releases Jeno from his embrace, and smooths out his robes. “I’ll go do that now. I won’t tell him about… this, because honestly how do we tell anyone? But I’ll tell him I intend to stay indefinitely.”

“Indefinitely,” Jeno repeats with a wide smile. “I like that. Staying here with us indefinitely.”

“Is that a promise?” Jaemin asks. He holds his pinky out to Renjun.

“Yes,” Renjun says no hesitation. He wraps his pinky around Jaemin’s, and they seal it with their thumbs.

“Promise me too,” Jeno demands, shoving his pinky towards Renjun.

“ _Cht_ , so jealous,” Jaemin says. But Renjun laughs and promises Jeno. “And to round it off,” Jaemin says taking Jeno’s pinky in his once they’re done. 

“Are we all done?” Renjun asks pretending to be annoyed. “Promised to each other and all?” They nod. “Good. I’m going to go talk to the king. I’ll see you later?”

“Anytime,” Jaemin says. They both have infectious smiles, drawing out Renjun’s own even as he turns away, for once actually content with his existence.

 

“So, you’re the god of unrequited love?” Jeno asks.

“Mmhm,” Renjun hums. He’s thankful the light is too low for them to see each other’s expressions. He was hesitant to tell his backstory, but he’s so comfortable right now, laying on his bedding between them with only candlelight, whispering secrets.

“How many people does that mean you’ve loved?”

“Jaemin, you can’t just ask that.”

“It’s a valid question. Also immortals who have been around since the beginning of time get a pass on high numbers.”

“Really, truly loved?” Renjun asks himself out loud. “I can’t be sure, but maybe, before you two… five?”

“Surprisingly low,” Jaemin comments.

“But you were in the garden for a long time, right?” Jeno asks.

“Right,” Renjun says.

“I kind of wish I could see it,” Jeno muses. “You guys made it sound so beautiful.”

“Yeah, but it was kind of lonely,” Renjun says.

“I guess,” Jeno says. “Choosing to be alone until your brothers found someone you could have a mutual relationship with? ‘Centuries’ doesn’t describe it well enough.”

“But it was all worth it,” Renjun says.

“So what happens when a god leaves? Does their domain go with them?” Jaemin asks.

“No,” Renjun says. “Even after I left, unrequited love still existed—still does. I just no longer answer the prayers.”

“What did people pray to you about?”

“A lot. I didn’t get as much as my brothers would, but plenty of people asked me if their love was unrequited or requited. Sometimes they would ask for someone to fall in love with them, which only ever worked if the person praying didn’t already love them. I could only effect one side, I couldn’t make them love each other mutually. Often times, though, people only wanted comfort.”

“Did anybody comfort you?” Jaemin asks. He grabs Renjun’s hand.

“The prayers were comforting enough,” Renjun says.

“But now you have us,” Jeno says.

“Exactly,” Renjun says. 

“Are your brothers okay with this?” Jaemin asks suddenly. Renjun shrugs.

“They haven’t been watching me recently. But they’ve always said they want me to happy, no matter how ridiculous they thought my wish was.”

“Well, you showed them,” Jeno says.

“Yeah. They told me I would never be able to find a human who loved me as much as I loved them. But I found two.”

“You’re too cheesy,” Jeno says.

“Shut up, it was poetic,” Renjun says.

“It was cheesy,” Jaemin says. “But you made it sound cute.”

“Now you’re being cheesy,” Jeno says.

“Shh, you’re being too loud,” Renjun says. “We don’t want the guards to hear.”

“Right, sorry,” Jaemin whispers. Jeno tries to stifle his laughter. 

“You’re both idiots,” Renjun mutters. 

“But you love us,” Jaemin says. Jeno doesn’t say anything, but he squeezes Renjun’s hand. Renjun smiles to himself, aware how lucky he is to have found these two.

 

Visiting the king isn’t weird in itself. But being summoned only to find Jeno and Jaemin in the room as well, their own expressions of confusion, is enough to make Renjun disconcerted. They share shifting glances in front of the king, wondering why he could have asked the three of them here. The past couple of weeks, they have been subtle in their interactions, spending more time apart than any of them would like.

But the only thing Renjun can think about is _the king must have found out_.

“My Lord,” the king begins respectfully. Renjun nods his head, holding back from checking on Jeno or Jaemin again. The king offers a smile and it makes Renjun’s anxiety worse. “As we all know, the wedding is less than a month away.”

“Yes,” Renjun says. 

“So I wanted to ask Renjun-ssi a question,” the king says. Renjun takes a deep breath. “Will Renjun-ssi officiate the wedding along with the monks?” 

Renjun has to keep himself from reacting in any way, but he releases the breath he was holding. “Sure…” he considers for a moment to see if he even knows what the wedding ceremony would be for them. “Yeah. I can do that.”

“Thank you,” the king says bowing his head. 

“Anything else?” Renjun asks. He can’t believe he got so worked up about this.

“Nothing, My Lord.” He dismisses them.

Once they’re out of the room, Renjun dismisses their guards. They look hesitant, but Jeno and Jaemin assure them they’re fine. “I thought he figured it out,” Renjun says once they’re alone.

“I’m sure even if someone suspected, they wouldn’t confront us about it,” Jeno says.

“Yeah,” Jaemin agrees. “Anyway. If you’re officiating, do you have any special plans?” he asks with a conspirator smile.

“Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t,” Renjun says with a shrug. “It’ll all work out.” They both look skeptical, but they drop the topic. There are other things to attend to, and their guards won’t leave them alone for too long.

“Are we meeting tonight?” Jeno asks before he turns to leave.

“Of course,” Jaemin says. “Every night, honestly.”

“It has been, hasn’t it?” Renjun muses to himself. “Yeah, we’ll meet tonight.”

“Perfect.”

 

Three weeks later, everything is set. The ceremony is held in a temple in the gardens behind the palace. Renjun is given fancy clothes and a fancy cushion to sit on while everyone mills about, waiting for the ceremony to start. On either side of him is a couple of monks, also sitting on cushions. The ceremony won’t be too complicated. At most, Renjun will give them a blessing and then it’s done.

But he’s still nervous. Technically, he’s not getting married himself, but it feels like it. His brothers have been completely silent since Jaemin and Jeno confessed. He’s sure that his brothers are happy for him, but they haven’t outright even acknowledged it. Renjun will have to pray to at least Yixing today, so they’ll know if they don’t already.

He looks around again, trying to see if Jeno and Jaemin have arrived yet. Still nothing. The boredom only servs to worsen his anxiety. Nobody here approaches him, too put-off by his status to attempt small talk. Honestly, Renjun will take anything at this point. He doesn’t know how much longer he can wait.

Everyone abruptly becomes silent. Renjun cranes his neck to look over the crowd, but he can’t see anything until it slowly parts.

The sun shines through the entrance, accenting Jaemin and Jeno as they enter. Their arms are interlocked and both of them have beautiful smiles. Renjun’s breath catches. They look around at the guests and their family members while they walk, but their gazes settle finally on Renjun’s. Renjun tries to keep his face impassive as to not let his own affection for them show.

They stop in front of the dais, looking at Renjun and the monks across it. “Please sit,” Renjun says. They kneel and the guests sit in a loose arch around them, a respectful distance away. He lets the monks take up their roles of chanting and praying. Jaemin and Jeno close their eyes and pray at the proper times. 

Renjun walks with the holy water, sprinkling it on the guests while they pray. As they finish, Renjun comes back behind the dais. He throws the holy water on Jeno and Jaemin, wishing them more blessings than he could give on his own. 

They finish their prayers. A monk hands Renjun the connected thread loops, but something catches Renjun’s eyes. He hadn’t noticed the presence before—he must have been hiding it. But now Renjun sees him in the crowd and has to fight not to react outwardly. Months of silence should have made it obvious. Of course they knew, even if Renjun can only feel them watching now, can see Yixing hidden in the back of the crowd as a guest.

He offers Renjun a small smile when he notices him. _How could we miss you getting married?_ Yixing’s voice drifts into his head across the physical space. _Don’t be so obvious about it, you have a job to finish_.

Renjun tears his eyes away and focuses again on Jeno and Jaemin. They both look they know something’s up, but they smile along with Renjun as he puts the thread on their heads. He grabs the holy paste from the dais and marks their foreheads.

“May this couple be blessed,” Renjun begins. He knows the basic blessing the couple is supposed to get, and he also knows exactly where he’s going to embellish. “For all eternity, may the gods smile upon them, for I certainly am. Today, you both agree to honor each other. You agree to perfect kindness and compassion through this union. The gods have given unto this couple love and happiness, and they have my blessings to live fruitful lives together.” 

Renjun pauses, looking up from Jeno’s and Jaemin’s faces because he is too close to crying. He switches to the language he speaks with his brothers, directing the next part directly to them. “Thank you all so much,” Renjun says. He can feel all his brothers nearby, watching proudly. Yixing watches with a smile. “For giving them to me and me to them. And everything I said before, please include me in it. I will love them both until the day I am gone from this world and all I want is the same from them.”

 _You already have it all_ , Renjun hears from his brothers all at once. The tears are pressing against his eyes, but Renjun holds it back. “Thank you,” he says in the language the mortal guests will understand. Renjun removes the thread and gestures them to stand. “I would like to introduce the new couple.” 

Jaemin and Jeno bow to him and the monks one last time before turning. Their parents are the first to approach and congratulate them, then the rest of the guests follow ensuite. Renjun steps away, glad to no longer be in the spotlight. A quick look around shows Yixing also hanging back.

Nobody is paying him anymore attention, so Renjun goes to Yixing. He has his arms opened, pulling Renjun into a tight hug. “Good job,” Yixing says quietly. “The ceremony went well.”

“Gege, I’ve missed you,” Renjun says, tears catching on his robes.

“I’ve missed you too. But don’t be so sad. You’re supposed to be happy today!” Yixing pulls away and holds Renjun by his shoulders.

“I know, I know.” Renjun wipes the tears away, a smile effortlessly gracing his face. “Don’t worry—I am immensely happy.” Yixing cups his cheek in his hand and looks at Renjun with an adoring expression.

“I’m so happy for you,” Yixing says. _We are too_ , Renjun hears his other brothers say and Renjun laughs.

“I already said it—but seriously. Thank you guys so much.” Yixing is about to brush it off, but he’s distracted by Jaemin latching himself onto Renjun’s arm.

“I was wondering where you went!” Jaemin says, excitement overflowing from every word.

“It’s not like I left,” Renjun says. He intertwines his fingers with Jaemin, the folds of the fabric between them hiding it from prying eyes. Jaemin turns to Yixing.

“Who is…” Jaemin trails off, pure amazement in his eyes. His gaze stops around his chest. Renjun can’t help but laugh again, wondering in what short form Jaemin sees Yixing. Whatever it is, it’s enough to have him speechless.

“Nice to meet you,” Yixing says as if Jaemin isn’t staring at him.

“Um, nice to meet you too,” Jaemin says. “How do I call….” His attention is suddenly taken by Jeno approaching them. 

“Who’s this?” Jeno asks looking up at him. 

“I should be going, but congratulations to you all,” Yixing says instead. He hugs Renjun one last time and leaves the temple.

“Was that…?” Jeno asks Renjun.

“Lay,” Renjun answers. They both look properly amazed. “What I said earlier, in the divine language, was essentially asking for his blessings for the three of us. He told me I already had it.”

“Did they have this all planned out then?” Jaemin asks. “From the beginning?”

“Looks like it.”

“At least it’s official now,” Jeno says.

“Yeah,” Renjun says with a blissful smile. He sees guests approaching them, though. “I’ll leave you two to talk to your guests. See you later tonight?”

“Of course,” Jaemin says. Renjun hugs both of them and leaves. 

 

It takes far longer than Renjun wants for the celebration to finish. He waits in the room given to Jaemin and Jeno in the palace. Luckily, there weren’t any guards to question him, so he got in easily. 

He tries to stay busy, thinking about anything other than Jeno and Jaemin to keep himself from getting too impatient. There isn’t much else to consider, though. He has no desire to think about the garden, or the time before. Those memories are so grey compared to how he sees everything now. 

His heart skips a beat when he finally hears the door open. “Injoon-ah?” Jaemin calls cautiously.

“I’m here,” Renjun responds. Jaemin closes the door behind them and Jeno runs into Renjun’s arms.

“Good,” Jeno says against his neck. He pulls back, his expression breathless, a little anxious.

“What’s—?” Jeno cuts him off with a kiss.

Renjun melts into it, holding Jeno closer and enjoying every second of it. Jeno’s hand comes up to cup his cheek and it makes Renjun’s face burn red. The kiss is so sweet in the simplest way and all Renjun can do is smile.

“What was that?” Renjun asks when they fall apart. Jeno laughs, eyes turned up cutely.

“He’s so impatient,” Jaemin says putting his arm around Jeno’s shoulders. “The entire time after the ceremony he kept going on and on about how he couldn’t wait for the visiting to be over. ‘Where’s Injoonnie, it’s not complete anymore, why do I have to talk to these people’.” Jeno pouts. “Aww, don’t be like that.” Jaemin kisses him on the cheek.

“You’re talking like you weren’t thinking the same,” Jeno says. 

“Well, there was something I was thinking about…” Jaemin looks at Renjun pointedly. 

“Do you want a kiss too?” Renjun asks trying to play it off like he isn’t excited.

“If you’ll let me.”

“Of course, idiot. Come here.” He pulls Jaemin closer, grabbing the back of his neck so they’re at eye level. 

“You’re so short,” Jaemin teases.

“Shut up, I know you like it.” Jaemin is in the middle of laughing when Renjun gets the courage to kiss him. 

He had called Jeno impatient, but there’s more urgency in Jaemin’s kiss than in Jeno’s, making Renjun wonder how long he’s been waiting to do this. His heart aches in the best way, Renjun trying to keep track of all the genuine emotions Jaemin lets pour through while he’s holding him in embrace. 

Renjun is breathless when he finally pulls away. “I have been waiting so long to do that,” Jaemin says.

“Not as long as I have,” Renjun says with fake annoyance. They only laugh at him. “Shut up.”

“You can’t act all self-suffering anymore,” Jeno says.

“Yeah, you have us now.” Jaemin holds him in a half-hug and Jeno slots himself on the other side.

“I know, I know,” Renjun says. They can tell what’s going through his head in this silence even if he doesn’t voice it, how absolutely thankful he is to have them, how at peace he is finally. “This might just be paradise.”

“Nah, it definitely is,” Jeno says.

“Agreed.” Renjun laughs.

“Fine. I’ll amend it. I love you both so much. This really is paradise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. It's done. This project was honestly such a challenge, because while I love reading fantasy, it's sooooo hard to write. Thank you all who have left me kudos and kind comments. I really appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed the story :)


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